No-noodles Nummy Chicken Soup

It’s gettin’ cold out there. “Colder than a ticket-taker’s smile at the Ivar Theater on a Saturday night,” as Tom Waits famously said. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. I mean, I just went for a drive in my neighborhood. Beautiful Coors Light Silver Bullet vistas wherever you turn your peepers. I mean lookit:

And another upside to weather like this is that it’s time for hot, chunky liquid meals. Homemade soup that’s turbo tasty and more wholesome than stuff out of a can.

If you were in an epic fantasy you would start the soup and then enjoy a quick training montage in the snow with a hoary bearded guy before sitting down to slurp up your hard-earned calories. But this is a different age and you don’t have to take the ring to Mt. Doom or dethrone a dark lord to fulfill a prophecy, so you can start this soup and then enjoy a few hours of Internet cat videos or something.

SERVES 4! 

Stuff you need at the start:

1 lb. of boneless, skinless chicken thighs, cut into chunklets
1 7-0z. bottle of roasted red peppers. Rinse, drain, cut into bite-sized bits
3 garlic cloves, minced. Or increase to ten because I dare you? MWAH HA HA HA
1 cup o’ chopped onion, you pick the color. I like red. You like yellow. Whatevs.
2 tablespoons tomato paste, which is nothing like the paste I used to eat as a child
1 can (15-oz.) of cannellini beans or your other favorite white beans, rinsed and drained
1 thingie (can or carton) of low sodium chicken broth, 14-15 oz.
1/8 teaspoon salt (or to taste)
1/4  teaspoon ground black pepper (or to taste)

Stuff for a bit later:

6 ounces of fresh baby spinach. Cuter and tastier than grown-ass spinach.
1/2 teaspoon chopped fresh rosemary (optional)
Fresh grated parmesan cheese to taste (also optional)

And so it begins:

Take your starting ingredients and toss ’em into a crockpot. Bonus points if it’s your grandma’s and no longer conforms to electric code. Cover it and cook on HIGH for an hour. Flip it to LOW and let it stew for another three hours. THINK OF ALL THE CAT VIDEOS YOU COULD WATCH. Errands you could run!  Training montages you could complete!

Finish it off with the rosemary and spinach. Dump n’ stir, cover and cook on low for another ten minutes.

Ring thou the dinner bell, serve it up and cover with cheese as ye wish. Serve with garlic bread and a glass of wine if you wanna be fancy. OM NOM NOM.