Writer's Grove

Tobacco-Infused Tequila Hot Chocolate

December 10, 2011

For my birthday, I went up to a cabin in the woods with no cable and no internet. This was in Pine, Arizona, where there are many pine trees, as one might imagine. There was plenty o’ snow on the ground too. ‘Twas chilly.

I went up there with The Confederacy of Nerds because we like to escape the Man once in awhile—who wants us to be normal and not so unbalanced—and really get our geek on.

Tooth got us started in sterling fashion: “There might be no Internet, but there’s a good phone signal. I’m pulling down four megs on my 3G out here,” he said. “Fuck it, I’m streaming Netflix.” He pulled an adapter out of his ass and hooked his cell phone up to the TV so we could have Star Trek and Lord of the Rings playing in the background while we geeked out on other stuff. I didn’t even know this was possible. Perhaps most astonishingly, he did all this while wearing an orange sweater. I swear I’m not making that up.

The O’Bryans taught Kasian and Tooth the basics of Warmachine using a couple of army starter packs, and I watched because the mechanics are slightly different—and a bit easier, I think—than those for Hordes. But the models, in my opinion, aren’t quite as cool. I’m not into machines and armor so much—I prefer the organic stuff in Hordes much more. But I can see the appeal of Warmachine.

So then Kasian was like, “I want to try this recipe for Tobacco-Infused Tequila Hot Chocolate,” and we were like, “You’re bullshitting us,” and he was like, “Yeah,” because usually he is, but then he realized he wasn’t, and said, “I mean, no.”

It was AMAZING. But it’s not something you pop in the microwave. It takes a while. But it was probably the most awesomely complex-tasting drink I’ve ever had. Here’s the recipe Kasian found on the Internet. There’s even a helpful video thingie. Kasian used an even different method than the chef dude described to infuse the milk with tobacco: He lit the cigar in the aluminum foil boat, then floated it on top of the milk, and then closed the lid on a large saucepan. We used an eight-dollar Monte Cristo. Here’s wee picture of the aftermath:

We weren't sure the tequila and the cigar were edgy enough, so we put a knife in there too. Now it's really edgy.

So here’s what happens when you take a sip: first you taste the chocolate—that sweet, rich chocolate that never comes out of a mix; then, as it hits the back of your throat, the Patron Silver says, “Hola, Amigo. You are the most interesting man in the world.” You swallow and exhale, and then you taste and smell the cigar smoke and the Fernet-Branca liqueur. It’s incredible. If you have the time to give this a try, I recommend it!

What’s the coolest, most incredible doodad you’ve ever eaten? Or drank?

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