Writer's Grove

Citizenship

Today I became a Canadian citizen. Still an American citizen, of course. But I guess you could say I’m able to Dual Wield now. My family’s incredibly happy about this, as am I.

From time to time people ask why I moved, so I thought I’d write this post as an answer so I can just deploy a quick link whenever it comes up. The list of reasons is in no particular order. Here we go:

1. I haven’t paid a dime for medical insurance in five years and even if I get sick, I’ll never go medically bankrupt. Not writing a check to ghoulish profiteers and not worrying about how much my rates are going to go up this year and not worrying about what’s covered is the fucking best for reals. Like, seriously, USA, you should try this shit. It feels great. Also? People in Canada live longer. Argue about systems all you want, throw around words like “socialism” as if that label automatically disqualifies something from being considered seriously, but you’re likely to live longer in Canada, period. So Canada wins.
2. Did you know that kids in Canada go to school and don’t have active shooter drills? And that when the rare mass shooting does happen, the government responds with more than thoughts and prayers? Gun ownership is allowed in Canada, but it’s heavily regulated. And so folks can reasonably expect to live their whole-ass lives without getting shot. One less problem to worry about. And again: It feels great.
3. Regarding college, Canada doesn’t get the sweet deal of many European countries where it’s basically a few hundred Euros a year, but compared to the US it is a bargain. The yearly tuition of where my kid was going to go in the US was $24,000. But in Canada, my kid is attending college for $7400 a year. So that’s less than a third of the cost. They can graduate without crippling debt. Holy shit! Does that feel great? Yes, it does.
4. Human rights are superior in Canada, and both rights and freedoms are quantifiable things. There’s a Freedom Index, in fact, that breaks it all down, and Canada is the sixth freest nation in the world. The US, which has that bit in the Star-Spangled Banner about being the Land of the Free, isn’t even in the top ten. It’s number 15. And I’m sure that ranking is going to drop next year, once they take into account all the rights and freedoms that have been taken away from women and LGBT folks this year.
5. Canadian citizens get to vote. You don’t have to register and you don’t have to worry about one political party trying to throw up obstacles to your vote or purging voter rolls, because you’re registered automatically and Canada sends you a postcard with details about where and how to vote and that’s it. No shenanigans! When I mention voter suppression tactics my Canadian friends are like, wait, what? That’s a thing? And of course it absolutely is in the US. Voter suppression, along with gerrymandering, Fox News, and insane amounts of dark money, is how the GOP has engineered their minority rule so far out of step with the general population’s wishes.
6. There’s no Fox News. I mean, yeah, there are right-wing batshit white supremacist folks here—some really nasty ones too—but there’s no major network steadily poisoning the minds of millions with fascist propaganda. It makes a huge difference in political discourse. The general vibe here is some spirited argument about how do we make things better for Canadians. In the US you have one side trying to be as cruel as possible to anyone who isn’t straight, white, rich, or Christian, and the other side is just sorta fundraising off that, as in “help us stop them from being such huge dicks. We won’t do anything helpful or progressive, but we’ll at least stop those dicks if you send us money.” I cannot emphasize enough how nice it is not to have the national conversation entirely consumed with HERE’S HOW WE’RE GONNA BE DICKS TODAY versus OH NO YOU DON’T YOU DICKS. People actually talk about art and music and improving public transportation here, and it’s so gentle on my psyche compared to the daily bloodsport in the US.
7. Water. Sorry for the incoming bummer, but uh…climate change is going to be kicking our asses for a long time. And if you look ahead, fresh water is going to be scarce. The American west is already hurting for it and it’s not going to be better next year or the years after that. Where will all the fresh water be? Canada. And where, in general, will it be more pleasant to live as things heat up? In the north.
8. This isn’t a thing I moved for, because how could I know? But dealing with drivers licenses and registration and stuff is far simpler and cheaper here than the US. I remember pissing away four hours of my life waiting at the Department of Motor Vehicles. Haven’t had to wait for anything here more than ten minutes—and that’s when I couldn’t do things at my convenience online.
9. Butter tarts. Until you’ve tried them you won’t understand.

None of the above should be taken to suggest that Canada is perfect. It ain’t. I think most Canadians would agree. There are lots of issues to work on here. And there are lots of wonderful things about the US that we love and miss sometimes. But items 1-6 are why we moved, why we love living here, and why we’re happy to be Canadian now.

If you happen to be someone who’s interested in moving, here’s what we did that might help you out: We used an immigration lawyer who charges a flat fee with a money-back guarantee. In other words, if they accept you as a client and you follow their instructions and somehow don’t get in, you get your money back. So obviously, they won’t take you unless they’re positive they can get you in. If you head to their website, they have a free questionnaire you can take that determines whether you’d be a good fit or not. Go visit Abrams & Krochak if you want to check it out. You become a permanent resident first, and then after three years you can apply to be a citizen. We wish you all the best, eh?