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Still Life with Dwarfs and Beer #3

August 1, 2010

Been out o’ town for a few days, visiting Anaheim for school stuff. I got to geek out about fonts and play with InDesign and laugh at puns.

But I’m back now and working on a map for my epic. Luncheon comes around and here’s what’s laid out on the table:

Still Life with Dwarfs and Beer #3

Chili dogs with mustard and a fine brew called 90 Shilling Ale in a glass from the Carver Brewing Company in Durango, Colorado. All of which is guarded by a dwarf troll slayer, who is holding very graphic evidence of his troll slaying skills. Said troll looked at my beer the wrong way, see.
Here’s a closeup of the dwarf troll slayer:

What amazes me most about this guy is how hairless his chest is when his chops and eyebrows are so epically gifted. I thought he’d have a happy trail down the center, at least. Coming in a close second is the fact that his left hand could probably engulf his entire head. And in third place is the fact that he’d be hard pressed to fit a kneecap under that grass skirt, much less thighs and calves and other goodies. How is this guy even ambulatory?

The answer is that it doesn’t matter. He’s a badass miniature dwarf troll slayer and that’s all there is to it.

The 90 Shilling Ale is from the Odell Brewing Company in Fort Collins, Colorado. It’s a Scottish ale that’s been lightened up a trifle and it’s remarkably smooth and flavorful. What’s that beer that keeps bragging about its drinkability? Is it Budweiser? They’re lying. Bud is overcarbonated, tasteless swill, and it’s not even an American beer anymore. It’s owned by the Dutch. If you want a drinkable American beer, try this 90 Shilling Ale—or almost any beer that doesn’t have a national ad campaign. That’s where all the flavor and drinkability is hiding. Still looking for that smoked porter that Hillary suggested to me in the comments from the last Dwarf and Beer post.

If you ever get a chance to visit Carver’s in Durango, please do. It’s kind of an unusual place because they’re known as a brew pub, but they also do a brisk breakfast business with great coffee and baked goods. I haven’t been there in a few years and I miss it. Here’s what you do: hit Carver’s in the morning for the coffee, get on the railroad for the trip to Silverton, then try out the beers when you get back in the afternoon. It’s beautiful country up there.

Summer’s almost over for me and I’ll have to go back to work soon. Think I’ll have to squeeze in a trip to Flagstaff before it’s over, introduce you to the joys of Macy’s European Coffee House.

© Kevin Hearne. All Rights Reserved.

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