Writer's Grove

Still Life with Dwarfs and Beer #5

I think there’s probably this preconceived notion out there that miniature dwarfs only defend meat and beer. But that’s a vicious lie—probably spread by miniature elves. Dwarfs acknowledge that consuming the occasional vegetable fends off scurvy and aids digestion. Hence the following:

My good friend Sigurd Kneecapper is guarding my Greek salad and a delectable brew called Easy Street Wheat in an Ommegang Witte glass.

The Greek salad is simple stuff: Roma tomatoes and cucumber, chopped basil, sprinkled with feta cheese, olive oil, and fresh-ground black pepper. Easy Street Wheat is from Odell Brewing in Ft. Collins, CO, and it was recommended to me a couple weeks ago by Anonymous in the comments after I sampled 90 Shilling Ale from the same brewer (in Still Life with Dwarfs and Beer #3). Best Anonymous tip I’ve ever received—this beer has won five medals, including two golds, so you don’t really need me to tell you it’s freakin’ good! It’s exponentially more drinkable than that mass-produced beer that makes claims to drinkability, and it has just a whisper of sharpness to its taste that keeps it refreshing. Ommegang is a brewery in upstate NY near Cooperstown, and their Witte is very good. Their Three Philosophers Ale makes a guest appearance in my third book.

And now let’s take a closer look at the stout sentinel, Sigurd:

If you try to score some of my Easy Street, Sigurd isn’t going to make it easy for you. He aims low, you see—and I don’t mean because he’s a dwarf. He’s swingin’ for the knees first, and then when you’re down and screaming, he’ll leisurely swing that hammer at your squishy parts. You won’t be thinking about my awesome beer at that point.

I pay Sigurd very well to guard my grub. That’s why his (pick one) gromril/mithril/yourmomril armor is gold-kissed, from the chain to the plate to the spectacle helmet.

Remember to come back on Tuesday, when I’ll have my 3:2 Interview with Gail Carriger!