It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these, but I finally scored a beer I’ve been looking for and I had to write it up. My writing/blogging friend Hillary Jacques told me about it and claimed it was to die for; I have taken her at her word because she’s from Alaska, and people have died for stranger things than beer in the land of salmon and short summers.

The beer is Alaskan Smoked Porter, and it comes in big ol’ dated bottles. For such an august brew I broke out the seminal autumn cuisine and a very serious dwarf to guard it.

That’s a grilled brat with sauerkraut and mustard, accompanied by some kettle chips. The Alaskan Smoked Porter stands majestically to one side. And on duty today from the dwarf kingdom is Einar Ericksson, high atop the seeded bun, shining a light in the dark cave of tasteless beers and leading us to liquid gold.

Einar’s motto (“I seek treasure and beer and often don’t know the difference”) is an example for us all. And in truth, he’s something of an archetypal character, guiding us through menus of tasteless swill to find a brew with gustatory substance. Do you doubt his archetypal muscle? Behold:

I was really hoping I could get hold of the Smoked Porter from Alaskan Brewing Company for this one, since blogging/writing buddy Hillary Jacques has spoken so highly of its divinity. I journeyed for many leagues all the way out to this specialty beverage establishment only to find out that they had everything from Alaskan except the Smoked Porter. Color me crushed.

But I have to tell you, I think I might have found something equally divine. It might be my new favorite.

Behold: Oberon Ale from Bell’s Brewery in Comstock, Michigan, in a glass from the Beaver Street Brewery in Flagstaff, Arizona; a turkey sandwich on a poppyseed roll with kettle chips on the side; and a dwarf ready to throw his own personal kegger. (Better pictures of him below)

I had to buy the Oberon Ale, because one of the main characters in my series is named Oberon. He’s a doggie—an Irish wolfhound, to be exact. He kind of looks like this:

If you’re wondering how a main character can be a dog, you’ll have to wait a bit to find out. I promise you, however, that it’s nothing like those execrable children’s movies where animals talk. Oberon is a constant source of joy to me as a character, so when I saw a beer with the same name it became a moral imperative to see whether it might also be a source of joy.

It is, my friends, it is. It’s bottle-conditioned, so you should pour it in a glass to enjoy it properly. As a summer ale, I can’t think of when I’ve tasted a finer one. It’s smooth and refreshing and I can’t believe I was lucky enough to run across it. I mean…look at this distribution map. How messed up is that? Midwest, south…and Arizona. That seems really random to me, but I’m grateful, because it suits me perfectly.

The Beaver Street Brewery in Flagstaff is my favorite brew pub so far. I’m not saying it’s the best ever, because there’s always a chance I’ll run across a better one in my travels, but so far it’s the best I’ve found. And it’s right across the street from Macy’s European Coffee House, which is my favorite coffee joint EVAH.

And now let’s take a closer look at that miniature dwarf:

This dude is ready to party. I’d neither want nor be able to keep up with him. He’s got a giant stein o’ suds, plenty of refills ready to go on his shoulder, and he’s even shaved his upper lip clean because it’s just going to get covered in beer foam anyway. Oh, and in case you think this guy’s a pushover, check out the side view:

He’s got an AXE slung back there out of sight, son, so don’t mess! If you make him drop his keg to pull it out, he’s not going to put it back without your blood on it!

I haven’t given up on the Smoked Porter. Alaskan’s website says it’s available in several places in Arizona, so I’ll hunt it down eventually.

Just finished a round of edits on Hammered and sent it back to my editor—she made some outstanding suggestions, as always—so I’m excited about the shape it’s in and feeling good about life. Oberon probably has a little something to do with that too. :)

Been out o’ town for a few days, visiting Anaheim for school stuff. I got to geek out about fonts and play with InDesign and laugh at puns.

But I’m back now and working on a map for my epic. Luncheon comes around and here’s what’s laid out on the table:

Chili dogs with mustard and a fine brew called 90 Shilling Ale in a glass from the Carver Brewing Company in Durango, Colorado. All of which is guarded by a dwarf troll slayer, who is holding very graphic evidence of his troll slaying skills. Said troll looked at my beer the wrong way, see.
Here’s a closeup of the dwarf troll slayer:

What amazes me most about this guy is how hairless his chest is when his chops and eyebrows are so epically gifted. I thought he’d have a happy trail down the center, at least. Coming in a close second is the fact that his left hand could probably engulf his entire head. And in third place is the fact that he’d be hard pressed to fit a kneecap under that grass skirt, much less thighs and calves and other goodies. How is this guy even ambulatory?

The answer is that it doesn’t matter. He’s a badass miniature dwarf troll slayer and that’s all there is to it.

The 90 Shilling Ale is from the Odell Brewing Company in Fort Collins, Colorado. It’s a Scottish ale that’s been lightened up a trifle and it’s remarkably smooth and flavorful. What’s that beer that keeps bragging about its drinkability? Is it Budweiser? They’re lying. Bud is overcarbonated, tasteless swill, and it’s not even an American beer anymore. It’s owned by the Dutch. If you want a drinkable American beer, try this 90 Shilling Ale—or almost any beer that doesn’t have a national ad campaign. That’s where all the flavor and drinkability is hiding. Still looking for that smoked porter that Hillary suggested to me in the comments from the last Dwarf and Beer post.

If you ever get a chance to visit Carver’s in Durango, please do. It’s kind of an unusual place because they’re known as a brew pub, but they also do a brisk breakfast business with great coffee and baked goods. I haven’t been there in a few years and I miss it. Here’s what you do: hit Carver’s in the morning for the coffee, get on the railroad for the trip to Silverton, then try out the beers when you get back in the afternoon. It’s beautiful country up there.

Summer’s almost over for me and I’ll have to go back to work soon. Think I’ll have to squeeze in a trip to Flagstaff before it’s over, introduce you to the joys of Macy’s European Coffee House.