Writer's Grove

So there I was, browsing through a Barnes & Noble, and the most gorram shiny thing I’ve ever seen in the ‘Verse slapped me and said hello: The Firefly board game/roleplaying hootenanny! I bought it and said to myself I WILL CALL MY FRIENDS AND LURE THEM TO MY LAIR WITH PIZZA AND BEER AND THEN FORCE THEM TO HAVE TOO MUCH DAMN FUN. I am diabolical that way.

Okay, first thing you should know up front: The box says playtime is two hours. HA! No. Maybe on a second or third try once you get used to it, but not with four people all trying to grasp the rules as they go. There’s a learning curve here, but it’s a pleasant one. Also, we were constantly distracted by the Arizona Cardinals kicking the shit out of the Indianapolis Colts. (The Cardinals haven’t been that dominant since the days of Kurt Warner, so it was a different kind of shiny for long-suffering fans like us.) My advice is to allow plenty of time for the first play-through. You should probably stock up on provisions like Guinness and cider for Snakebites and practice your Mandarin swearing, and then have fun!

Players get to captain one of four Firefly-class ships (including Serenity) and then you build your crew by burning through the ‘Verse and hiring them on at one of five different locations: Persephone, Regina, Silverhold, Osiris, and the Space Bazaar at Red Sun. As you build your crew you can also take on jobs from five different contacts: Patience, Badger, Amnon Duul, Harken (the Alliance douche) and Niska. Some jobs are legal transports and are great to begin with, but they pay less, and as you take on more crew and have to give them a cut of every job, you’ll want to move on to the jobs that are a bit more dodgy but pay much better. Pretty much anything by Niska is going to pay well, but it’s almost always illegal and often immoral and quite dangerous. FUN, in other words, for people who like to take risks.

Tip: You’ll need a pretty decent-sized playing area because the board is big and you have lots of cards and goodies to scoot around. Here’s what the initial setup looks like:

Yeah, it’s a lot. But it’s a fun lot. You get to worry about fuel and parts and gear and stashes for your contraband and fugitives and YAY IT HAS EVERYTHING FROM THE SHOW. See the player spot on the lower left? That’s me. I got the Yun Qi and I have the dinosaur on my dashboard, indicating I’m the active player.  Travis the Barbarian got to play Serenity to my right, and across from us are the ships of Pilot John and Mathemancer Alan. On the left of the board you see cards representing the ports where you can buy crew, supplies and gear, and on the right you have contacts and the bank, as well as these things called MISBEHAVE cards. More on those soon.

To build a crew, you need to find a range of skills if you want to complete the game goals and win. The broad skills you need are fightin’, mechanics, and negotiation. If you have all fighters, you’ll have a tough time dealing with mechanical troubles like ship breakdowns. Without negotiation skills, some jobs pay half as well—but with them, they could potentially pay twice as well. My crew was strong on mechanics and negotiation—I got Kaylee and Inara! Mechanics are the blue wrench icon, Negotiation is represented by the Chinese kanji in the green bubble, and Fighting is the yellow pistol on a red square:

Your leader, of course, will have skills of his/her own. You get to choose your leader (yes, Malcolm is available) and each one comes with certain benefits. I picked Monty, Smuggler Extraordinaire. Every time I completed a smuggling job I got an extra $500. This next picture shows Monty and my Firefly ship board, including my cargo hold, stash, and upgrades. You also see my drive core and ship upgrade slots, and to the left you see my current active job, a DUNG RUN! I was amused by that. Nothing like traveling across the ‘Verse for a giant pile of shit and getting paid $1500 for it.

SO FUN. You’ll notice that Monty has two Fightin’ skill points, and Jesse, my pilot from the previous picture, had one. The good news is that you can upgrade your weak spots with gear. I bought a FRICKIN’ LASER at Silverhold and gave it to Jesse, who had the requisite mechanics skill to wield it, and that gave me three extra Fightin’ points:

You need those skills to pass tests that require them. You roll a single dice and add the number of skill points to your roll to see if you passed. Also, in terms of occupations, you simply must have a pilot and a mechanic, or else when you run into the Reavers (and you WILL run into them at some point) some of your crew is gonna git et. Lots of high-paying jobs and often the game-winning goals require you to “Misbehave” and pass several skill tests. If you don’t pass them, the consequences vary. Sometimes you simply botch the attempt and you can try again next turn. Sometimes a Warrant is issued for your arrest by the Alliance. Sometimes you get crew members killed! The Misbehave deck is a whole lot of tension, basically. Here’s Pilot John and Mathemancer Alan checking to see if John passes one of FOUR Misbehavin’ tests he needs to complete a $6000 job for Niska:

Here’s a hot tip: Pray you can recruit River Tam to your crew, because there are a couple of cards in the Misbehave deck you cannot get past without her. We learned this the hard way because no one in our game drew her, and since we were all misbehaving quite a bit we kept running into those cards, which in one case requires you to reshuffle the deck and maybe run into them again. Check out this one, a Reaver Raid:

See that? If you have a TRANSPORT card, you can get away with one dead crew member and botch the attempt of the job/goal you’re trying to complete. If you have a high mechanics skill, you can roll and somehow score $1000 but the attempt is STILL botched, and you might wind up getting your entire crew killed. Only River gets you past it. Without River Tam, you botch your attempt no matter what and maybe lose crew. Some situations are just insurmountable without her—she’s the ace in the hole. That’s not to say you can’t win without her—far from it!

So anyway, I was kicking a bit of ass for awhile. There are six different story cards you can play through and you have to complete the goals on your story card to win the game. We were playing The King of All Londinium story. I’d completed the first two goals and was on my way to complete the third one when Travis the Barbarian got the opportunity to sic the Reavers on me and he took it. I got one shot at completing the third goal and ran into that Misbehave card that required me to have River Tam. Then I had to evade the Reavers and wait another two turns before I could get back there and try again. I did try again—and failed again due to a different insurmountable problem—I really didn’t have everything I needed to pass some of those tests. Had to evade the Reavers once more and wait. While I was evading and waiting, Mathemancer Alan caught up, snuck in past the Reavers, and won the game before I could.

There are mechanics in the game that allow you to sic both the Alliance and Reavers on people and I think that’s awesome. In the opening of the game everybody’s doing their own individual jobs and accumulating skills, gear and cash to complete jobs. Once you start on working the goals, however, it’s freakin’ cutthroat and hilarious.

Firefly: The Game is shiny indeed. All the character cards are from the show and you’ll recognize gear like Jayne’s favorite gun, Vera, and a particularly funny bit is that you can hire either Saffron, Bridget, or Yolanda on your crew, but only one can be in play at a time. If you hire Saffron, for example, and then someone else hires Yolanda afterward, you have to remove Saffron from the game.

I’m skipping plenty of details here, of course, but in general we all found this to be a very good time. You get to decide what kind of jobs you want to take on, how illegal and immoral you want to be (if at all), and enjoy geeking out in the ‘Verse with your fellow Browncoats. Like I said, I found this at a B&N, but I’m sure you can find it at your local game store too or certainly online. Happy gaming!

This post is business up front, party in the back, just like your favorite mullet.

In case you feel like givin’ the gift of Atticus n’ Oberon this holiday season, there are a couple of different ways to get signed editions if you want:

For people in the east valley of Arizona, the Barnes & Noble stores at San Tan Village and at Dana Park have signed copies available. So does the Poisoned Pen in Scottsdale.

For everyone else in the whole world: You can order signed, personalized copies of any or all of the books through The Poisoned Pen. The sooner you order, the greater the chance you’ll have ’em in time for your family hootenanny. The Poisoned Pen ships internationally too in case you’re outside the USA. You can call them toll-free at 1-888-560-9919 or order online here. Be sure to let them know if you want it personalized; otherwise it will arrive with just the signature. If you go to the online store and it says signed copies are “not in stock” don’t worry—they restock fast and will call me in to get ’em signed for you.

Star Wars news: I’m still writing that book. :) If, somehow, you missed that tidbit, it’s a Luke Skywalker adventure set betwixt Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back. I don’t have a title or release date yet.

Iron Druid news: Book 7, Shattered, will be out June 17. Should have cover art for you soonish. Before that release, I believe I’ll be able to release the short story “The Chapel Perilous” all by itself on eBook platforms for the gigantic sum of ninety-nine cents. (Currently it’s available only in the Unfettered anthology.) I’m hazarding a guess that it will be up and clickable sometime in late January or February with original cover art by Galen Dara, and hell yes I’m geeking out about that.

Epic Fantasy news: I have my outline finished and soon my editor and I will huddle up and discuss it over absinthe and clove cigarettes. Which is totally true except for the absinthe and clove cigarettes. Well, damn—I don’t know. Maybe she’ll surprise me and bring some.

Shiny New Idea news: I’m also squeezing in time to work on a shiny new urban fantasy idea. No clue when or even if it will see print because it’s quite new and I haven’t fleshed it out completely yet. But if it works out I will say REMEMBER THAT SHINY NEW IDEA THAT ONE TIME? HERE IT IS.

The problem for many authors is never HOW DO YOU COME UP WITH IDEAS it’s OH CRAP, HOW DO I STOP GETTING IDEAS?

Happy Thanksgiving! I’ll definitely be giving thanks for my spiffy readers. Peace n’ stuffing to you and your family.

Couple o’ quick announcements and something squeetastic for me:

1) I’ll be having a signing shindig thingie at the San Tan Barnes & Noble in AZ on November 22 at 6 pm. Apparently they are doing some kind of pre-holiday hootenanny there and they asked me to come on in, so I said heck, why not. Come say hi. They’ll have discounts on everything but you’re also welcome to bring in stuff you already have if you like. You’ll also get a signed Oberon bookmark and make my mom happy. :)

2) I’m going to C2E2 in Chicago April 25-27, so if you’re in the Chicago-ish area I’d love to see you if you can make it. I’ll be doing both panels and signings there, and I’ll have details when we get closer, but I should mention two things: A) This is my first trip to Chicago and B) I don’t know when I’ll be back. Since I’m going in April you shouldn’t count on me coming back through for my tour in June. In other words, please try to catch me while I’m there! I obviously don’t get out that way often.

AND NOW FOR SQUEE. I’ve been working on Iron Druid stuff pretty much nonstop since 2008. More recently, it’s been Star Wars nonstop. But right now, due to an odd conflation of events, I’m basically waiting to hear back from people in New York before I can work on any more Iron Druid or Star Wars. And they can’t possibly get back to me until Tuesday at the earliest. THAT MEANS I CAN WRITE SOMETHING DIFFERENT AND COMPLETELY BATSHIT FOR FOUR WHOLE DAYS…maybe moaar! And I’m doing it. I don’t know if this will ever see print but I’m enjoying myself and giggling quite a bit so that’s a good sign. I already have 7K written and plan to add to that and fully flesh out an outline for the rest, see if I can get it into proposal shape. Heck, you never know, this might go somewhere.

Sorry I can’t tell you much more than that. Gotta be all sekrit until I can figure out if this will work. Anyway, having fun and I hope you are too. Hope you have a great long weekend, and cheers to all the Veterans out there. Please know that I value your service every day.

Dudes. I’ve just received this book by Graham Robb called The Discovery of Middle Earth. It’s already blowing my mind and I’m just 22 pages into it. I should probably say up front it has nothing to do with Tolkien. What he appears to have done is discovered that the Druids knew some serious math two thousand years ago, and the Romans kind of wiped all that knowledge out along with the Druids, and the evidence is only able to be seen now with the aid of satellite imagery and mapping software. It’s a nonfiction book, not my normal fare, but it has Druids and maps in it so I am ON BOARD.

I’m curious, of course, to see if there are any revelations inside that will directly contradict something in my series, but also hopeful that I can incorporate some of it into the last couple of books. He’s combining what he’s found in the modern day—archaeology and aerial images—with historical accounts and putting together a stunning new look at the old world.

So far he’s been talking about the Heraklean Way, this road that spanned Spain and France and into the Alps, and showing that Hannibal probably used it. I remember my high school history teacher talking about what an ungodly feat it was for Hannibal to cross the Pyrenees and all that, but dude, it’s easier if there was a road there already made by the Druids and traveled for a few generations before he brought his elephants to Iberia.

So yeah, if you’re into history—especially the Celts—and want to read something awesome, I recommend it. It just came out. Get in on the ground floor here. :)

Other revelations: I’m not terribly fast when I write. More of a tortoise than a hare, just kinda keep going. But I didn’t realize how distracting the Internet was until I turned that sucker off. I mean, I knew it was a distraction, sure, but wasn’t able to nail down precisely how badly it was harming my productivity until this week. I bought a program called Mac Freedom; it basically restricts access to the Internet for however long you tell it, so you can get some work done. I’ve tried it a few times now and each time I do I get lots more done than normal.

Numbers: Every so often I would  do these 1K1HR thingies with other authors—that’s one thousand words in one hour. See, we all get distracted easily HEY IS THAT A SQUIRREL and we know it, so we try to encourage each other by saying DUDES ONE HOUR OF AWESOME PRODUCTIVITY. GO. Except it doesn’t always work out so well for me. I’d get 400-600 done, which wasn’t bad, but making 1,000 seemed like an unrealistic goal. Well, I finally did it today. 1,005 words in an hour. I had the Internet shut down and some awesome instrumental metal playing by Scale the Summit. So I’m going to go do that again. If you’re participating in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) or, as Chuck Wendig says, NaWriEvMoMoFo (National Write Every Month, Motherfucker), you might want to try some kinda software that shuts the shiny siren song of the Internet off for a while. Works for me, anyway. :) Going to get back to it!

You may have noticed by now that in addition to being a writer I’m rather a fan of other writers. I really dig stories; regardless of whether they entertain me or make me weep or resolve to have the courage that the hero(ine) has, stories are vital to my life and make it better. So when I get a chance to meet someone who wrote one of those stories, it’s really important to me to say thanks. That was the best part of WorldCon for me.

I got to meet Charlaine Harris and thank her for Sookie.

I got to meet Carrie Vaughn and thank her for Kitty Norville.

I got to meet Gail Carriger and thank her for Alexia Tarabotti.

I got to meet Chuck Wendig and thank him for Miriam Black and Mookie Pearl and his blog and his tweets and for being the coolest mofo ever.

I got to meet Kim Stanley Robinson and thank him for the Mars trilogy that I read like five times when I was in high school and college. Devi Pillai, an Orbit editor who apparently wished me to die of surprise, brought him by unexpectedly and I nearly shat kine. If I hadn’t been sitting down already I would have fallen down. So grateful I got to do that and not pee from excitement. I owe Devi a bottle of whiskey.

Rationally I can see that my need to say thank you is a bit silly and won’t even begin to balance the scale; the stories always do far more for me than my thanks do for their authors. But I feel so much better afterward, like it’s a debt that needs to be repaid, and I have found that, on the whole, authors are pretty receptive when I tell them they’re awesome. It’s a huge relief when I get to say thanks.

But I think I had some extraordinary access by dint of being an author myself. If I had been attending WorldCon as a reader only—that is, without the “in” of being a published author who can sit down in the bar and have Kim Stanley Robinson show up at your elbow because you know an editor—I doubt I would have had a chance at meeting some of them, let alone chatting for a few minutes. See, there were plenty of authors at WorldCon—myself among them—who weren’t included on a single panel and weren’t given a signing time. So how would I, as a reader, find authors easily if they weren’t included in the program anywhere and I wasn’t following them on Twitter—assuming that the authors I wanted to see even had a Twitter thingie? Would I even know that they were there?

Myke Cole and Justin Landon put together this cool event called Drinks with Authors precisely for that reason—a big ol’ party in a bar near the convention hotel so that people could meet authors who weren’t otherwise easily accessible at the Con. I went for a while and met someone who (I think) felt about me the way I felt about meeting Kim Stanley Robinson. She wanted me to sign a book, and when I asked her who I should make the book out to, she froze and her eyes grew wide with panic. She’d forgotten her own name for a few seconds because she was thinking about saying something else to me and I threw her off. And then she was embarrassed, but she didn’t need to be. I totally get that, because I’ve been there. A lot. I practically slobbered on Patrick Rothfuss the first time I met him, poor guy. I can talk to him now without losing my mind because I’ve told him how much I love the Kingkiller Chronicles and thanked him for writing it. And the same thing was true for this spiffy reader: Once she told me she loved the series and thanked me for writing, she relaxed and we took a picture and gabbed, and we both parted as very happy humans.

But that experience made me a little sad later as I thought about it. Not about our meeting—that was awesome! I was sad about other meetings that maybe never happened because so many authors were left out. I hope that spiffy reader got to meet everyone else that she wanted to at WorldCon. I hope everyone who wanted to meet me did so, but I think maybe I missed some people, judging by some tweets I received—and by a couple of sisters who spotted me in the hotel lobby as they were on their way out to catch a taxi to the airport. They were like YAY WE WERE BUMMED WE DIDN’T SEE YOU BEFORE AND NOW WE SAW YOU GOTTA GO BYE.

I worked around it as best I could. I had a ninja signing in the bar with Chuck Wendig on Saturday that we tweeted and some fabulous people came by to talk to us. But wow, I wonder which other writing hero(in)es of mine were at WorldCon that I missed seeing. And I wonder who else missed out on seeing some author they really dig because of whatever happened with the scheduling.

Ah, well. Hopefully I’ll meet up with those authors I haven’t met yet at some shiny shindig in the future. And if you happened to be looking for me in San Antonio and never found me, or never even knew I was there, I’m truly very sorry. I’ll try to get back to Texas again someday.

And because it can never be said enough: Thank you very much for reading.

Last night I finished revisions on SHATTERED. YAY!!! However, that doesn’t mean the book is finished and will be released in a couple months. Far from it!

I never understood the process behind getting a book to the shelf before I went through it myself, and there are still parts of the process I don’t understand because they don’t involve me at all, but maybe I can crack open the blinds a wee bit and shed some metaphorical light on the subject…

SHATTERED has been delivered at this point but not accepted. That means I’m whipping the book into better shape with the guidance of my editors. This could go on for a while and it’s a good thing. You want a well-edited book, believe me. I usually do two to five revisions before a book is accepted and I’ve just finished my first one. So yeah, “finishing” revisions really just means I’ve taken a step forward and we’re not even close to publishing. It takes some time for me to write the revisions, of course, and time for my editors to read ’em and get back to me…you get the idea.

A note on my process as a writer: I always add words in revisions because one of my peculiarities is that I forget to describe people; for me, character is revealed more in actions and words than in what they’re wearing or how their hair looks. I’ve tried to get better at that, but I always forget something and my editors have to go, Kev, is this character MALE or FEMALE and DO THEY HAVE EYES and all that. So there’s always a certain amount of that physical stuff I need to add. But sometimes I have to add entire chapters, chop others, and expand plot elements, etc. This was a pretty significant revision for me. I delivered the book at 91,500 words. The revision I just turned in was 104,898 words. Oh, and I cut about 5,000 at the outset. So I wrote a net 18,400 words for this bad boy. If I don’t cut a whole bunch on the next revision, then this will be my longest book so far (and may get longer depending on the notes I get back on the revision).

So can we publish soon after it gets accepted? Heck no! Next we have copy edits, and that takes a couple of months. Then it goes to typesetting, which is another 3-5 weeks, and then we need time for me to approve galleys and spend sleepless nights worrying about commas. After the galleys are approved and fixed, then it goes to a proofreader or two, and then we’re finished with the text. But that still doesn’t mean we’re ready to publish right away!

The non-writing part of the process is a bit more hazy for me because it’s not really my bag of chips, but I can give you broad outlines. In a way, this part of the business determines the release date of a book more than the date the author completes writing it. Weird, huh? It’s because everybody has budgets and they need to plan how to spend them. I’m not talking just about publishers—I’m talking about bookstores and libraries. The publisher has to allocate resources surrounding the marketing of the book and allow time for reviewers to grab early copies and get some buzz going. They also have a sales team that goes out and tries to get your book on shelves around the country. There’s limited shelf space, after all, and whether your book gets there and how many copies get there is determined by this sales team. And they do this by seasons. They’ll go to a bookstore and say, “Okay, Spiffy Booksellers, here’s what we have coming out in the summer of next year. Please buy a gazillion copies of them all.” The bookstores pick what they want on their shelves in accordance with their budget for next summer, and it’s always less than a gazillion. And the same goes for libraries. They have very tight budgets and can’t buy copies of every book that comes out. But they still need to make plans based on seasonal releases, and once they make those plans, it’s tough for them to shift gears quickly for a sudden release. If my publisher said now, “Hey Spiffy Booksellers, we can have Kevin’s book ready by October,” the bookstores and libraries would be like, WHUT. Sorry, we’ve already allocated our funds for October. We won’t be buying any copies. And then I would be doomed. So that’s why the publishers pick release dates so far out from actual completion of the writing—it’s all about giving everybody enough time to get their financial ducks in a row and give the books their best chance for success. Publicity! Reviews! All the things!

Can the publishers move faster if they really, really have to? Yes. It can be done. It just usually isn’t. The example I’m thinking of is Jim Butcher’s last book, Cold Days. He delivered in September and they got it published in November. That’s super fast. But they already had cover art ready, already had a lot of things prepared, and were able to chug through the editorial process quickly because Jim’s awesome and so is his editor. And it’s not insignificant that Jim’s a sure-fire bestseller, so bookstores were willing to make an exception on the normal lead time for ordering. It’s definitely a rare case. Most of the time you pick the release date even before the book is finished, stick to it so everyone’s accountants are happy, and then count on the book getting done in time.

So: SHATTERED is slated for release next summer. The book will be finished before then, but not ready, if that makes sense. There’s a ton of work to be done to make sure that when the release date arrives and you walk into the bookstore or library to pick up a copy, there will actually be a copy there for you to pick up. :) While I’m sorry you have to wait, keep in mind that we’ve been doing this consistently; I finished HUNTED at this time last year and it just came out in June of this year. Most books operate on that schedule—there are 10 to 12 months in between delivery and appearance on the shelf. While you will occasionally run across books that are rushed to the shelf, the vast majority adhere to this kind of scheduling. Hope that helps you understand why there’s a wait between an author saying “I’m finished with these edit thingies!” to being able to buy it.

Happy reading in the meantime, and thanks very much for the kind words regarding HUNTED. Glad you guys liked it!

Need to thank Houston yet again for being such awesome hosts! Had a great time at Murder by the Book with Jaye Wells, Nicole Peeler, Mark Henry, Delilah S. Dawson, and Liliana Hart! If you’re near Austin, you can catch them Monday night on the Carniepunk tour at BookPeople!

But I cannot rest! I get to go to San Diego next, and if you’ve somehow missed this before, here we go: I have two events in San Diego, one on Tuesday, the 30th, and one on Wednesday, the 31st.

The first one (Tuesday) is a joint appearance with Jason M. Hough at Mysterious Galaxy in SD to launch his debut novel, THE DARWIN ELEVATOR. It’s open to the public and if you are in SoCal and missed me earlier, this is your last chance to catch me this year. I won’t be back until next Comic Con!

Jason’s book is utterly awesome. Best sci-fi I’ve read in a long time, fabulous pacing, character-driven, and thank all the gods, never straying into that condescending professorial tone that sounds like LET ME EXPLAIN SCIENCE TO YOU NOW. In fact, I wrote a blurb for it and you’ll see the short version of it on the front cover. Here’s the long version: “The best part about alien stories is their mystery, and Jason M. Hough understands that like no other. Full of compelling characters and thick with tension, The Darwin Elevator delivers both despair and hope along with a gigantic dose of wonder. It’s a brilliant debut and Hough can take my money whenever he writes anything from now on.”

You know what’s cool? Jason’s second and third books will come out in August and September. It’s that same bam-bam-bam release I had with my series. That tells you that the publisher believes in his books like they believed in mine. You guys are going to dig it!

So I hope to see you at Mysterious Galaxy at 7pm on Tuesday! Come meet Jason on his debut day and shake his hand before he’s über-famous! And of course I’d be delighted to sign any (or all) of my books for you as well! If you can’t make it to San Diego on Tuesday but would like to get a first-edition signed copy of THE DARWIN ELEVATOR, you can probably just give Mysterious Galaxy a call and they’ll take care of it for you, shipping it out as soon as they can!

On Wednesday, July 31, Jason and I are having a ticketed event called Atticus n’ Oberon’s Elevator Ride. Tickets are all sold out and I’m looking forward to it—it’ll be all tacos and tequila and spiffy readers who get things like limited-edition pint glasses with Oberon on it and other goodies.

After that I’ll be disappearing from the Internet(s) for a couple weeks and returning August 14. Thank you all again for reading and for spreading the word! Hope I get to see you at some point down the road!

Just had a completely glorious time at San Diego Comic Con. Met many spiffy readers, including one who looked like Granuaile come to life, and lots of wonderful writers, which makes the fanboy in me go squee.

I met Max Gladstone (Three Parts Dead), Wes Chu (The Lives of Tao), and Liesel Schwarz (Conspiracy of Alchemists) for the first time, and they were all lovely people. Got to spend lots of time with Diana Rowland, whose White Trash Zombie series is one of my favorites, and her friend, Roman White (a director) was highly amusing as well. I met Ty Franck (who loves tequila) and Daniel Abraham (who does not), who together form the super-writing duo known as James S.A. Corey, and let them know that I absolutely dig The Expanse series. Got to spend some time with Jason Hough, on whose debut, The Darwin Elevator, I have had much to say and will say some more soon.

BUT TODAY IS A DIFFERENT THINGIE ALTOGETHER.

See, I have a book coming out tomorrow, the 23rd o’ July. It’s called CARNIEPUNK, an urban fantasy anthology full o’ stories about spooky midways and dangerous doings amongst the carnies. It’s available for pre-order (or outright order, depending on when you read this) wherever you snag your books, and it looks like this:

And heck yes, there’s an audio version!

The lineup of authors is pretty freakin’ awesome. In fact, lookit: Whilst at SDCC I got to sign some advance copies with none other than Rachel Caine, celebrated author and awesome person! My complete shock at being in such august company should be clear from this picture:

My story is an Iron Druid tale called “The Demon Barker of Wheat Street” (Did you see what I did there?) and it’s set two weeks after the events of the novella Two Ravens and One Crow. Atticus, Granuaile, and Oberon visit Granuaile’s hometown in Kansas and run into a rather ghoulish operation amidst Oberon’s dreams of a poodle named Noche, and I hope you find it entertaining.

It’s also my fervent hope that you’ll discover some new writers to enjoy in this anthology. That’s always the attraction of anthologies to me: I know I’m going to love the stuff by authors I already know and I get excited about discovering some new ones. Here’s the full lineup, presented in the order they appear in the book:

Rob Thurman ~ “Painted Love”
Delilah S. Dawson ~ “The Three Lives of Lydia”
Kevin Hearne  ~ “The Demon Barker of Wheat Street”
Mark Henry ~ “The Sweeter the Juice”
Jaye Wells ~ “The Werewife”
Rachel Caine ~ “The Cold Girl”
Allison Pang ~ “A Duet with Darkness”
Hillary Jacques ~ “Recession of the Divine”
Jennifer Estep ~ “Parlor Tricks”
Kelly Meding ~ “Freak House”
Nicole Peeler ~ “The Inside Man”
Jackie Kessler ~ “A Chance in Hell”
Kelly Gay ~ “Hell’s Menagerie”
Seanan McGuire ~ “Daughter of the Midway, the Mermaid, and the Open, Lonely Sea”

As always, thank you so much for reading and for spreading the word to your friends! Happy tales!

The world needs Granuaile cosplayers too. :)

I’ve had Phil Balsman, the illustrator who did the tattoos for Atticus, whip up the shape-shifting forms for Granuaile. Now you can use these to cosplay Granuaile or get ’em done for reals or whatever. You can mix-and-match with Atticus’s animals or you can use these as inspiration and have an artist do a set of animals that speak to you. If you’d like to hire Phil, he’s at Ballsy Art and you can contact him using the info on that link.

The rest of the tattoos—the plane-shifting band and the healing triskele on the back of the palm—are of course in the previous post featuring Atticus, complete with a schematic of how they’re laid out.

So here’s a jpeg of the tattoos, and below that you’ll find a PDF to download that you can print out using that temporary tattoo paper.

Isn’t this spiffy? Here’s the PDF.

Bands_final_Zoomorphic_2

I’ve had a few requests to do the full body but I probably won’t be doing that. Professional illustrators don’t work for free (nor should they!) and there is little need to do the whole thing when for cosplay purposes (and most real tattoo purposes) the arm is all you need. If you’re determined to see it all, then please hire Phil to do the rest. :) He’d be happy to do it and he has my instructions on what they look like.

Have fun, you guys! If you cosplay Atticus or Granuaile, please send me pictures! I’ll post ’em! I probably need to get a drawing of Granuaile’s weapon, Scáthmhaide, made up, but in basic terms it’s a quarterstaff with Celtic knotwork on it, which you can approximate (or not) as you wish. Granuaile would also have throwing knives if she’s going to lay down the hurt on someone, but I imagine those wouldn’t be a good idea to bring to a Comic Con. I think Granuaile’s iconic look will eventually be what she’s wearing in chapter 2 of the next book, SHATTERED, and omg I cannot wait to see someone do that, but for now dress her up as you wish, keeping in mind she’s usually wearing jeans (any color is fine) and a kinda tight but otherwise modest girls-cut T-shirt (she never does low-cut stuff).

Druids would make a great costume idea for Samhain (Halloween), don’t you think? :)

Image from APA (www.audiopub.org)

June is Audiobook month (JIAM 2013). The audiobook community is giving back by teaming with the Going Public Project by offering a serialized audio story collection. All proceeds will go to Reach Out and Read literacy advocacy organization. Throughout June, 1-2 stories will be released each day on the Going Public blog and on author/book blogs. The story will be free (online only – no downloads) for one week. In collaboration with Blackstone Audio, all the stories will be available for download via Downpour. The full compilation will be ready June 30th.

The full schedule of the story release dates and narrators are at Going Public. Engineering and Mastering are provided by Jeffrey Kafer and SpringBrook Audio. Graphic design provided by f power design and published by Blackstone Audio. Project coordination and executive production by Xe Sands. (written by Mary Freeman)

I am so pleased to welcome Luke Daniels to the blog! Many of you already know Luke as the voice of the Iron Druid Chronicles and you’ve told me how much you enjoy his work. I’m fantastically lucky to have him narrating the series.

Hailing from a family of performers, Luke Daniels is an audiobook narrator with close to 200 books recorded. In 2012, Audible named Luke Narrator of the Year. He has been Audie nominated twice and won several Earphones Awards. Luke is also a classically trained actor and has performed professionally for theatres throughout the US, As well as in many television, radio, and film roles.

Luke’s free story and my interview with him are below, and there’s a whole bunch of other great stuff for you to explore during Audiobook Month. I mean lookit: Yesterday there was this spiffy story over at Devourer of Books and tomorrow there will be two spiffy things out there on the Interwebs, one at Bermuda Onion and another at Lakeside Musing. And Luke, the man himself, has a post up at the Going Public site.

Luke recorded a fairy tale of about forty minutes in length that you can stream for free here for a week!

LD: Ahhhhhh…. Lets see. Well, ya wanna know a secret? I don’t really eat any more while I record. I find it keeps my focus sharper. When I eat during a recording session I get kinda logy*, and well, burpy. *editor’s note: did you know this word is pronounced “low-gee.” I always said “lah-gee.” Until I started narrating that is. You would be AMAZED how many words I’ve discovered I pronounced incorrectly all my life. Editor’s note, out. Shoot. While writing the editor’s note (spoiler alert! Yes! I am the aforementioned “editor!”) I forgot the question. Bear with me… Ok. I’m back. Sooooo… It takes about three grueling, mind numbing days… Just kidding… About it being grueling… Not about the three days. I usually start about 8:30. Record a couple of hours. Take a fifteen. Then another couple hours. Then I drink some juice for lunch.* *editor’s note: I should be clear. I have gotten into juicing. (The kind with fruits and veggies. Not tiny wieners.) So I will juice a bunch of stuff in the morning then drink that throughout the day to keep my energy up and to dampen any rumbly empty tummy noises. Editor’s note, out. After lunch I record another couple of hours. Take a break. Then usually another hour and a half to two hours and I. am. done-zo. And then… Well, I eat my weight in whatever I can find…

LD: Thank you techno gods for the all mighty IPad! It has made my life soooooo much easier. Before I used have to carry this with me wherever I went.

Now, using the iPad, I read and mark-up a digital script ahead of time; then narrate from the iPad in the studio. (We used to have to try and mask the noise of turning pages while recording. Now there’s a lost art!) When I mark up a script beforehand I am looking at characters and trying to get a feel for tone and the writer’s rhythm, or voice. I find yours very easy to slip into. Your writing flows well which makes a book much easier to narrate. Now pardon me while I wipe this brown shmutz off my nose…..

KH: Heh! Do you have secret recipes for voice-soothing teas that you drink to preserve your voice? How about exotic salves or unguents that you apply each night to your throat? Maybe a dodgy ritual involving honey and eucalyptus? Burnt offerings of chamomile to a stone idol?

LD: Whiskey. Whiskey. And whiskey… Seriously I only narrate when I’m completely knackered. And naked, for that matter. Yeah it’s messy, but whatever gets the job done, right!? Ok so to seriously answer your question. Neti Pots are fab if I’m coming down with something. I live in Michigan and during our nine-month long winters I have to work hard not to get colds, cause they can really make recording difficult, if not impossible. Other than that I like hot water with lemon and honey. Simple. Good.

KH: Have you ever ululated? I’ve always wanted to ask you that. If so, what effect did it have on those around you? Were they frightened? Uplifted? Stricken by a sense of existential despair because they can’t ululate as well as you?

LD: Great big bears! I just listened to this lady do it on YouTube and my dog about pooped his pants. (Yeah he wears pants! He’s not a savage! sheesh.) That lady was freakin loud! Umm..so, I actually have done this. Or a version of it. I went to grad school for theatre and performance, so lets just say our voice classes were FULL of not just ululating, but undulating, convulsing, and all manner of vocal AND physical quivering. Yeah. Grad school was awesome.

KH: Do you have a dream project or five—some work you’d like to have a crack at narrating?

LD: I would love to record some Shakespeare. Both with a full cast and solo. His language is so aural it really translates well to an audio based medium. That’s why I relish Leif and Atticus’ Shakespearean jousting. I did some Cliffs Notes audiobooks and a few of them were Shakespeare. Lets just say, I’m pretty sure whenever they included a direct quote from the text I shmacted the hell out of it. Other than the bard, I’d like to do more full-cast recordings and radio plays. I would loooooove to revive The Shadow series. (Minus the incredibly racist overtones.) I would like to do a podcast. Omg! What about an IDC podcast!? Then special “wacky” guests can visit! Genius! My five-year old self is all about it. And since that 5 year old self is really my everyday self, I say let’s do it!

KH: You give distinct voices to quite a few characters in my series, and some of them have specific accents. Lots of people are interested in how you develop those. Are these accents coming naturally to you, or are you coaching yourself somehow, and if so, how?

LD: I’m lucky that I have a good ear for them. It’s also something I’ve always been interested in. As a kid I was always doing voices and coming up with characters. Some that I still use in books today. I remember I used to record my own radio shows at home with different “wacky” guests. I also used to fall asleep at night listening on my Walkman to old radio dramas like The Shadow and Superman. I’m pretty sure that had a big effect on me as well. Even now I’m constantly listening to people’s voices and trying to mimic them. Try this, next time you’re watching TV close your eyes and just listen to the voices. You’ll be surprised. A lot of people sound more different than you think. A lot of people sound like Muppets. But when I’m coming up with characters for a book I’m trying to find a natural tone that will support the character the author has established. A lot of it is playing intention too. If you discover what the character wants, what they are trying to do in the scene, it will naturally inform your voice. Plus, good writers, yes K-Hernia I’m including you in that statement, write dialogue that suits the particular character speaking it. Again, I thank you for making my job EZ

KH: Do you read the story in sequence, switching back and forth between the voices, or do you read in pieces and then splice it together?

LD: Sequence. Start to finish. Cover to cover, so to speak. I actually really enjoy the switching back and forth in the moment. I think it speaks to my, shall we say… Diverse mercurial nature? (that’s a euphemism for multiple personality disorder.)

KH: What character from IDC is the most difficult to voice? What character is the most fun for you to narrate?

LD: Sometimes the Morrigan could strain the ol’ vocal chords a bit. But I tried to create her sound from a looseness in my throat, as opposed to tension and clamping down on things, because that can lead to strain and damage. As for the character that is the most fun? Really, Special-K? Ya gotta ask!? I think we alllllllllll know that our big, furry friend gives me a particularly potent delight. But I will say, even though there hasn’t been much of him, yet, I looooooooove monsieur Loki. I think the IDCers need to demand an Oberon novella, AND I would like a Loki novella. In first person. Holy shnikes! Do you know how awesome that would be!? So there ya go. More work for you. You’re welcome.

KH: You narrate other work, of course, besides the IDC. What’s coming up for you soon? What should people look for?

LD: Ooooooooooo! Lots of goodies! I’ve got a Lauren D Estleman novel coming out called THE CONFESSIONS OF AL CAPONE. Fabulous book! Plus I get to play an aging, syphillitic Al Capone, as well as narrate several chapters from his perspective! So there’s that. Lets see, there’s a lil’ book called HUNTED… OH! And I’ve got a Dean Koontz kids’ book called Oddkins coming out! That one was a blast and I’m particularly proud of the voices. Think Toy Story meets The Fantastic Mr.Fox. I’m also getting ready to record a new zombie series called Rise of the Horde by Devan Sagliani. Aaaaaaand there’s another couple cool series I do in addition to IDC if ya wants some fun summer listening and ya hate having to wait for more Atticus and Oberon. Speaking of Atticus, I do the Atticus Fish series by Sean Morey, starting with Wahoo Rhapsody, which I won an Earphones Award for. And the Edward series from Craig Lancaster starting with 600 hours of Edward, which I won an Earphones Award for. I also did a collection of Kurt Vonnegut’s unpublished short stories, for which I won an Earphones Award, as well. (Can you sense my head swelling to ridiculous proportions?) If you like mystery there’s the Mathew Hope series by Ed McBain. Now that dude could write. If you like Sci-Fi I’ve done a bunch of PK Dick, but my fave was DEUS IRAE which he wrote with Roger Zelazny. Oh! and I can’t forget the Jason Kolarich series by David Ellis. Just finished recording his latest and it may be my favorite so far. There’s the Mongoliad series with many different “sidequests” (which are novellas within the mongoliad universe). The Dead Man series is good, gritty horror. Plus I like that they are short story collections cause you get a lot of different great authors in one package. I’ll be recording volume 5 in July. (I especially like them because my brother James Daniels wrote a couple, AND he narrates them. So you can hear both of us on the same audiobook!) Oh I could go on and on… Is anyone even still reading at this point!? Kevin! Hey, Kevin!! Put down those boar sausages! We’re trying to do an interview here!

KH: Sausages down. Cool! And will you tell us a bit about this short you’ve recorded for Audiobook Month?

LD: Undoubtedly! It’s for a great cause! Child literacy! Going Public in Shorts is the brainchild of Xe Sands, a fabulous narrator and producer. I am very lucky to be invited in with so much incredible talent. All the narrators involved were asked to pick a short story from the public domain and produce it. Then it will be released as a collection and all proceeds go to Reach Out and Read. For my story, I picked a kewl fairy tale from Andrew Lang’s Orange Fairy book. Complete with talking toads, lion fairies, a dashing prince, a cunning princess, a noble queen, sea serpents, Magic and some pretty trippy locales. Enjoy!

KH: Thanks again, Luke. Looking forward to your future work!

LD: Let me just say… Thank you, Kevin. You really are a rare and fantastic author. I am honored to work with you. Now c’mon over here an give Oberon a big sloppy kiss!

KH: DOG PILE!