Writer's Grove

Woohoo! Good times!

So here’s what I’ve heard from people who have been to SDCC “back in the day”: Phoenix Comicon now is what SDCC used to be like. It’s every geek’s happy place. You can move around freely. You can get in to see panels. And yet, there are still plenty of great artists and attractions and a freakin’ ton of cosplay. We had William Shatner and a bunch of other dudes visiting…honestly I didn’t pay much attention to the TV side of things because I didn’t have the time. But the important takeaway here is that Phoenix is fun and not overcrowded—at about 35K people, it’s not too big, not too small, but juuust right.

The argument I’ve heard is that SDCC is too dang big and the Hollywood types have sucked all the joy out of it. Now it’s insane to move around there and you can’t even get in to see the panels you want to see. Okay, I think that part of that argument is entirely valid. Though last year was my first year, I did see more armpits up close than I would have liked. I’m not expecting to enjoy a surplus of personal space this year, either. But there is something awe-inspiring about the size of the spectacle, the utter abandon with which people leave behind their attempts to conform to some perceived standard of normal and just geek the fuck out. It’s a place where you’ll be praised rather than teased for dressing outside of the mainstream…and get photographed a whole lot.

Despite the crush of the crowd, methinks SDCC has sorta reached pilgrimage status now for geeks and nerds and assorted dorks. “Someday, I gotta go there…” Well, it’s darn tough to get in, and I’m here to say that Phoenix is cheaper and really quite pleasant. It’s a very acceptable secondary pilgrimage. If you want to buy a fez and pose with a badass Hulk, this is the best place to do it.

Comic Accomplishment Unlocked: I scored 24 back issues I was looking for! I just need two more and hopefully I’ll find them at San Diego.

Fan Recognition Unlocked: I was just about to go all fanboy on John Layman, Eisner-Award winning writer of CHEW, when for the first time, someone actually geeked out on me. A loud voice behind me shouted, “Hey! You’re Kevin Hearne!” I turned around and spoke to this nice fella for a while, and when I was finished, John Layman had mysteriously disappeared. He may have sekrit powerz. I caught up with him the next day, though, so that was all good.

The popularity of Doctor Who really leapt forward in the past year. I think I remember two whole Who cosplayers last year, but this year there were many. And not just the Doctor, either—lots of companions and even some Daleks and folks dressed up like the TARDIS. Can you identify all the characters in the photo below? I love the Doctor’s Wife nestled back in there.

Other cool stuff! I got to hang out with spiffy artist Ashleigh Popplewell, who did this really spooky marker study for me of Vainamoinen and the sea serpent from HAMMERED—you remember that bit, where Vainamoinen summoned a serpent out of the fjord with his kantele, nothing but firelight to illuminate the scene?

I also got to meet Cody Vrosh, an illustrator who did a beautiful watercolor of Atticus and Oberon a few months ago. He and his wife are fans of the series and I’m fans of theirs. I’m hoping I can talk Cody into doing some more stuff.

The best bits were meeting readers and chatting with ’em for a while.. That’s something else I can do at Phoenix that I can’t do too much of in San Diego. Though I had a steady stream of visitors, there was never a gigantic line where I felt pressure to hurry the person along and get to the next one, so that was quite lovely—and I imagine that’s also a huge benefit for fans. Whoever you want to talk to, you can probably find ’em and enjoy a conversation beyond “Hi! Big fan!”

Okay enough o’ this for now…I have books to write and I’m finally free to do so. :)

Woohoo! It’s taken me a while to get to this, but I promised pictures from the release party of TRICKED, which we called Atticus n’ Oberon’s Sausage Fest. Held at Rula Bula, the Irish pub on Mill Avenue featured in the series, it was a completely spiffy gathering during which I got to hang out with some of my awesome readers. I won’t put up every single picture here because there are far too many, but if you’d like to see more than what I post here, please go to my author Facebook page and look for the album.

Quick business first: John Bonfiglio and Jenn from Tynga’s Reviews—you are #10 and #40, respectively, chosen by Random.org to be the winners of Shawntelle Madison’s COVETED! Please shoot me an email with your address so we can ship it out to you. Congratulations!

These pictures were all taken by Mike Ruggiero, the head honcho of Mike Ruggiero Photography. He does weddings and family portraits and all kinds of events…like Sausage Fests. Give him a call if you’re in Arizona and you need someone good.

Hey everybody—

I’d like to introduce you to a new talent on the shelves, Shawntelle Madison. Shawntelle is a wonderful person from St. Louis with quite a story behind her road to getting published. She was handpicked out o’ the submission pile by my own editor, Tricia Narwani, and her debut, COVETED, is now available. It’s a paranormal romance with a delightfully neurotic (yes, delightfully neurotic) heroine. Here’s the summary, followed by a guest post and giveaway by Shawntelle herself: SOMETIMES WHAT YOU COVET IS IMPOSSIBLE TO KEEP.

For werewolf Natalya Stravinsky, the supernatural is nothing extraordinary. What does seem strange is that she’s stuck in her hometown of South Toms River, New Jersey, the outcast of her pack, selling antiques to finicky magical creatures. Restless and recovering from her split with gorgeous ex-boyfriend, Thorn, Nat finds comfort in an unusual place: her obsessively collected stash of holiday trinkets. But complications pile up faster than her ornaments when Thorn returns home—and the two discover that the spark between them remains intense.

Before Nat can sort out their relationship, she must face a more immediate and dangerous problem. Her pack is under attack from the savage Long Island werewolves—and Nat is their first target in a turf war. Toss in a handsome wizard vying for her affection, a therapy group for the anxious and enchanted, and the South Toms River pack leader ready to throw her to the wolves, and it’s enough to give anybody a panic attack. With the stakes as high as the full moon, Nat must summon all of her strength to save her pack and, ultimately, herself.

Shawntelle: It’s amazing sometimes to realize what I’ve reached at this point. I’ve published a book. Yippee! But this blog post isn’t about what I’ve accomplished today. It’s what I’ve experienced in the past and what I hope for in the future. So much has happened in the past year. A year ago I was still waiting for my first book to come out. I’d completed edits and soon I was looking forward to copyedits and more. At the time I was impatient, I had no idea what was coming and how much work and stress would be waiting in the wings. It’s so easy to think, I can’t wait. I want my book out now. Well, now that I’ve had my book come out, I can say the wait is worth it. Rest up. Stock up on pain meds. Get sleep.

I remember back when I was in high school. I’d written a book in a folder than had pictures from my time in middle school. Life was a lot different back then. I was living in Perry, Iowa, a small town with a small library. At the time, I didn’t know their selection was small, but for someone like me who loved to read science fiction, it was perfect. After school I could lose myself in a book. I could sit and read Robert Heinlein, Harry Harrison, and more. My relationship with Stephen King’s books began at that time as well.

But what resonated with me the most were the books by Octavia Butler. They were incredible. I can’t recall the first one I read off the top of my head. I think it was Kindred. I loved it so much. I’d read nothing like it before. It was fresh. New. And I’d read a lot of books. I’d never read a book before where the main character was African. An African in a science fiction book! It was so awesome! After I read it, I devoured her books. I tried to find out anything I could about Octavia Butler. She was not only a fantastic author–she was a black woman. That to me was so inspiring. I’d written a little, but I’d never imagined I could be a writer. Hell, I’d aspired to be a surgeon. I was that high school geek who looked up careers in the counselor’s career book and picked the one that made the most money–the surgeon. It was all about the money. I guess I just couldn’t see myself being an author. I knew my writing wasn’t the best. I also didn’t have any relatives who wrote. No mentors to offer advice or help me along. I didn’t keep up with my writing in high school. I actually spent more time drawing and working with computers. (486 anyone?) After high school, I pursued a degree in math.

Fast forward a few years. It wasn’t until I began to write that I noticed there were other authors of color who wrote in the genres I preferred to read. They were just as amazing and inspiring as Octavia. The late L.A. Banks and Tananarive Due were some of the first authors I added to my collection.  I loved the romance that Leslie wrote. I thoroughly enjoyed Tananarive’s darker works. To be honest with you, I wondered how come I didn’t see more authors like them. Was that a sign I wouldn’t succeed? I learned that wasn’t the case when I got my literary agent and then a year later sold my first book in a two-book contract to Del Rey (It was later switched to Ballantine.)

I still remember the day when I visited Betsy Mitchell’s office at Random House. (She’s the former editor-in-chief. An amazing lady!) I was with my editor Tricia Narwani and we stood outside of Betsy’s office. At the time, I was so excited about the future. It was July 2011 and I was in NYC for the Romance Writers of America Conference. I still had many months until my book came out. As we talked, I revealed my admiration of Octavia. I learned from Betsy that she’d been Octavia’s editor. She’d edited her Nebula award winning piece, Parable of the Talents. Now that I’ve had time to think about it, it felt like things had come full circle. Octavia’s editor had read my book and thought my work was worthy of publication. She thought a geek like me had potential. (Makes me smile fondly every time I think about it.)

So, what have I learned from this wild ride? I always say, stay hungry to finish a book. I mean it. Persevere. (At this point, I’d say after you release a book you should take a much needed break. Zone out for goodness sake!) It’s all about your passion and the book. I was just as determined as other published writers to finish a book, edit that puppy, and then get it published. Anyone can do it. I still have to sit down and get to work in the next couple of weeks. The characters from another story are starting to get chatty. I’m tired, but since the muse has arrived, it’s time to get back to work again. I want to write more books. I want to write a story to stretch myself to write a good story that readers will enjoy—whether they like romance or not.

Are you that kid or adult who asked yourself, could I ever be a writer? Or an even deeper question, could I ever be an author of color? To that, I reply, “Oh, hell yeah.” But you gotta fight for it and you have to be prepared to trip and fall many times. I don’t have a degree in English (a degree in math hasn’t been too handy as of late) and my grammar skills can be quite lacking. But I do have are dreams and that’s something everyone has in abundance.

Thanks so much for stopping by to say hi! I’d like to offer two copies of Coveted to two folks who leave a comment. :)

Okay, I’m headed off to zone out again!

ZOMG! TRICKED is on the NY Times Best Seller List!

As you might expect, I am very sore from happy dancing, but I am also extremely grateful to my readers for embracing the series and making this happen. Thank you so much for reading and spreading the word!

Had a spectacular time at Atticus n’ Oberon’s Sausage Fest, the release party held on April 28. Met lots of spiffy people from around the country and wished I could have spent more time with them. I taught a couple of girls from Florida who had never thrown up the horns for a picture before how to rock out, sang “Fly Me to the Moon” in front of everybody, and received confirmation from all and sundry that Rula Bula really does have the best fish and chips anywhere. I would have pictures except that the picture CD I was sent got fractured in the mail; I’ll get the pics eventually and post them up on my Facebook page, never fear.

I’m writing this in a hotel room in Albuquerque; I met some wonderful people at Alamosa Books here yesterday. Alamosa is a fairly new indie store and it’s geared toward children and young adult readers, though they have an adult fiction section as well. Completely fabulous place, and I got some great questions from the readers there. If you’re in Albuquerque they still have a few signed copies of the series left.

FOR UK AND AUSTRALIA/NZ READERS

Some of you have noticed that TRICKED hasn’t been released overseas yet. I assure you that it is not an evil corporate plot to deprive you of Oberon—far from it!

The truth is that some artists—musical, literary, or otherwise—don’t ever hit it big across the pond. Some UK and Aussie authors never really get going in the US, and sometimes US authors don’t catch fire over there. That’s basically what’s happening here. For  whatever reason, the series hasn’t sold well in either region, even though it’s enjoyed some success in the US and Canada (see above). Those of you who have found me there have been utterly spiffy and I appreciate your enthusiasm for the books, but publishers are of course in business and need to support titles that grow their business. The way they look at it is, why should we supply something for which there is little or no demand?

There’s some hope. I do have a UK release date: May 24. The publisher is going to take a chance that the series will belatedly get some momentum going and make the financial risk worth it. So this is where I need your help: if you’d like the series to continue to be available in the UK, please tell all your friends to start reading it.

The same holds true for Australia, but even more so. I currently don’t have an Australian release date for book four. Not sure if I’m getting one or not, to be honest, though I’m trying to remain optimistic. I know there are some huge fans of the series out there, but from an accountant’s point of view, there aren’t enough. So, like I suggested to the UK readers, please tell your friends about the first three. Only when there is sufficient demand will a publisher supply the rest of the series. I’m getting zero publicity in Australia; I have to depend entirely on your word of mouth.

All authors do, by the way. If you like an author’s work and you’d like to see more, the best possible thing you can do to ensure that author will keep writing is tell your friends about their books. Write a review online. Press your copy into someone’s hands and stare into their eyes as you say, “This book will change your life or I will eat your socks with gravy.” That tends to work. And honestly, you hardly taste the socks if the gravy is good.

Thank you all again for reading about Atticus and Oberon and sharing. You’re tremendously kind and I appreciate it!

I know the wait has been excruciating for many of you, but it’s here! Release week for TRICKED, available Tuesday in paperback, e-book, and yes, audio as well! I hope you all enjoy it, and since many of you are fast readers and will probably ask me the same day when the next book is coming out, TRAPPED will be available Nov. 27!

Aside from some reviews that I assume will pop up here and there, I’ll be on the web in a couple of notable places: Anton Strout’s Once and Future Podcast (Episode 29), and also a guest post on Wicked Lil’ Pixie’s site, wherein I taunt her mercilessly over her aversion to the word MOIST. (That will be up on release day, by the way.)

The big release party is at Rula Bula on Mill Avenue at 6 pm on Saturday, April 28. I’ll be on the patio, Patrick from The Poisoned Pen bookstore will be there too selling books, and if you want to have a pint of something tasty and a plate of the world’s best fish n’ chips while you’re there, why, there will be cool people working there who’d be happy to take your order! If you’re in Arizona, I really hope you can come to this and support a great indie bookstore and a great Irish pub. Bring a camera and we’ll take silly pictures together and chat a bit!

If you have can’t make it Saturday night, I will try to arrange a consolation prize. What I’ll do on Sunday the 29th after I recover is drive around the east valley and sign stock in some bookstores. I’ll tweet as I go, so you’ll know where I’m going and where I’ve been so you can pick up a signed copy. But also remember that if you’re out of town or out of state, even out-of-country, you can always order a signed copy of any of my books from The Poisoned Pen. They ship anywhere.

Going forward from there, I’ll be at Alamosa Books in Albuquerque, NM on May 5 at 3 pm. I’ll be at the Velma Teague Branch of the Glendale Public Library on May 19 at 2 pm. And then I’ll be roaming around the Phoenix Comicon May 24-27, and shouldn’t be too difficult to track down.

For more information on where I’ll be in June and July, please check my Events & Appearances page!

In other news, somebody recently gave me the gift of beer. Glorious stuff, too! Kevin DeLange at Dry Dock Brewing sent me a sampler of his stuff and it’s amazing so far! Lookit, I haz proof:

I decided to try the Apricot Blonde seasonal first because SHE WAS LOOKING AT ME with her Herbal Essences hair and stuff. So I poured a glass and it looked like this:

Now it seems like she’s looking at the glass and asking, “Are you gonna drink that or what?” Well, heck yes! But be patient, I’m gonna enjoy it with some lunch first, like so:

The beer is fabulous. It doesn’t have the artificial taste so many flavored beers have; it’s light and refreshing and nom nom nom. If you ever go on a beer tour of Colorado, definitely stop by Dry Dock! They know what they’re doing.

Thanks again for reading and supporting indie bookstores. I hope you enjoy TRICKED and I hope I get to visit with you soon!

Cheers,
Kevin

This is an Announcement. With a capital A and stuff.

It begins with a spiffy dude named Shawn Speakman. Shawn is a webmaster for several fantasy authors and he also interviews other authors for Suvudu.com and generally makes everyone look good. He’s a groovy guy. Everybody digs him.

Unfortunately, Shawn got slapped with Hodgkin’s lymphoma last year, which scared the heck out of us, but because he’s tough he BEAT THAT SHIT, and that made everyone happy. Anytime you can give cancer the finger it’s a good day. But then he got slapped with a $200K medical bill. Eeek! He hasn’t beat that yet. He’s going to, though. How? All proceeds from UNFETTERED, a very special anthology published by Grim Oak Press, will go to paying off those medical bills. Shawn has lots of author friends, including myself, who are willing to donate stories to this anthology. Who? Only some of the biggest names in fantasy!

• Terry Brooks
• Patrick Rothfuss
• Naomi Novik
• Brandon Sanderson
• RA Salvatore
• Tad Williams
• Jacqueline Carey
• Daniel Abraham
• Peter V. Brett
• Robert VS Redick
• Peter Orullian
• Todd Lockwood
• Carrie Vaughn
• Blake Charlton
• Mark Lawrence
• David Anthony Durham
• Jennifer Bosworth
• Lev Grossman
• Steven Erikson
• Shawn Speakman

I feel very humbled to be included in such a lineup. I mean…it’s a heck of a lineup. I am agog. Now, these stories might be from familiar worlds, or they might be something totally new; Shawn has put no restrictions on the story content—hence the title, UNFETTERED. My story will be called “The Chapel Perilous,” and it will be an Iron Druid story. Those of you familiar with the Grail romances may recognize where I’m going with this one. I’m having fun with it, especially the research end. Good times reading the Grail stuff! Lots of blood!

UNFETTERED will be published in early 2013. Five hundred super-specially-spiffy editions will be autographed by all the authors.  (Squee! I might buy one of those myself!) Shawn is also an author and if you buy the special edition of his book, THE DARK THORN (sample chapters available at Grim Oak Press), then that guarantees you can buy the special signed edition of UNFETTERED.

As you might imagine, you can order your copy of UNFETTERED directly from Grim Oak Press. Hopefully it will also become available through Barnes & Noble, etc. Shawn’s working on that now. I hope you’re as excited about this anthology as I am!

Peace & carrots,
Kevin

Whew! What a difference a year makes!

When HOUNDED debuted on May 5 last year, I wasn’t sure how things would go, or that I’d even get to write book 4, but thanks to your support I will technically have four books published inside of a single year! I’m stupidly lucky to be here. Thank you, sincerely.

So what have I discovered in a year of being a published author?
1.) You don’t need to hire social media experts unless you are truly incapable of human interaction. They’re not selling anything you can’t figure out yourself—or if they are, it’s probably something akin to spam. I might be able to sell a few more copies here and there if I reeeeeally wanted to, but I think it would involve a Faustian bargain. Like most people, I’d rather keep my soul, thank you very much.
2.) If you write about your favorite sports team in your books and portray them as struggling mightily, they will open the next season by sweeping the San Francisco Giants 3-0. True fax.
3.) I vastly prefer interviews to guest posts. Vastly. The chasm is wide and deep, people. Even when the interview questions are repetitive, and they often are, that’s totally

okay. I prefer interviews because book bloggers usually have a good sense of what their audiences want to know, and I’m happy to provide that. With guest posts I’m constantly thinking I’ve either already written what I’m writing or else I’ve read it somewhere before. I can’t keep from second-guessing myself and I wind up spending way too much time on them. However, I have recently written a very spiffy post with my editor about the revision process for novels, and if you’re an aspiring writer I’m sure you’d find it educational and perhaps even entertaining.
4.) Some authors, in addition to being excellent writers, are also excellent human beings.
5.) I geek out pretty hard when I meet an author I admire. Sorry, Mr. Rothfuss. I couldn’t help it.
6.) My dogs really don’t give a damn that I’m now a published author. I get absolutely no credit with them for unlocking that achievement. They still climb right up to my face while I’m sitting on the couch, turn around, and let one rip.
7.) My readers are frickin’ rad. They send in pictures of my books with action figures and stuff to create Nerdscapes. They tell me about cool beers they’ve had and neato tabletop games they play with their geek friends. They create amazing sausage recipes and take pictures of them with their dogs. And so far I’ve gotten some beautiful fan art for Atticus, Oberon, Leif, Granuaile, and the Morrigan. I’m kind of waiting for someone to do Vainamoinen and the sea serpent… :)
8.) Indie bookstores are super cool! Plus: libraries! Also: book bloggers!
9.) Social media is kind of hard to keep up with and I don’t think I’ll ever get the hang of it and be a deity of Twitter. I’m following under 100 people and I can’t even keep up with that. I just try to say howdy to the people who say something directly to me via @ replies. If you do follow me on Twitter, don’t be shy, I’m happy to chat. Facebook seems to be my biggest social doohickey but I’m not sure why. It’s a mystery. Can’t even consider joining Google + and LinkedIn and Amp My Orifice. (That last one isn’t real, but wouldn’t it be fun? There wouldn’t be friend requests. Instead you’d get this: “Kevin wants to amp your orifice. Will you amp his?”)
10.) Yeesh. I’m still pretty immature.
11.) Publicity is sooo much different than I thought it would be. I thought publishers spent all their money on ads and lunches with agents, and sometimes they do. But most of their budget these days tries to generate word-of-mouth. They give away lots of free copies to reviewers and bloggers and hope that they build buzz and stuff. There are probably nifty marketing words I should have used instead of “buzz and stuff,” but if I did use them you might think I knew what I was talking about.

I actually think I learned much more than that, but some of it is Sekrit and some of it I can’t remember right now. I’m kinda tired so I’ll hit the hay, but thank you again for reading IDC and spreading the word so I can write more. We’re only two weeks away from the release of TRICKED (squee!) and I’m so glad that you’ll finally be able to dig in!

May harmony find you,
Kevin

I actually kinda told this to my Facebook peeps a while back, but since there’s overlap and some people probably haven’t heard yet, I’ve changed audiobook publishers from Brilliance to Random House.

What I haven’t changed is the narrator. Luke Daniels will continue as the narrator for books 4-6. TRICKED just finished recording this week, as a matter of fact, and from what I understand they had a blast at it. Lots of good times with the new voices and some old favorites. And congratulations to Luke for being one of the highest-rated narrators on Audible for 2011 for his performances on The Iron Druid Chronicles!

In practical terms for you as a consumer, the only difference you may notice is that you can’t pre-order the TRICKED audiobook. There will be no physical CDs made; the audiobook will be digital only, but sold through regular vendors. TRICKED will appear for sale online April 24 wherever you like to buy your audiobooks.

Why no CDs? Many publishers see it as a dying medium. Everything’s going digital. I’m very sorry for those of you who listened to the first books on CD at libraries and so on, but I guess it’s not cost-effective to continue doing that.

TRAPPED:

I’ve turned in book 5, TRAPPED, to my editors and we’re still on schedule. You’ll get to read it on November 27—or, if you’re an audiobook listener, you’ll get to download it on that same date. I’ve seen a first draft of the cover. You’re going to see someone besides Atticus on this one. :)

OTHER GOODIES:

I have three shorter pieces “in the works” for you, all Iron Druid stories. TWO RAVENS AND ONE CROW is a novella that really should be considered IDC 4.5. It ties up a lot of stuff from HAMMERED and TRICKED, and as you might guess from the title, you can expect it to feature Odin and the Morrigan. This should be available over the summer in eBook form. Date and price and all that will be forthcoming.

“The Chapel Perilous” is a short story for one hell of an anthology. I’ll announce the date, title, and all that stuff when I can, but trust me when I say you’re going to want it. Every author on the list is worth a squee or five. This story will share Atticus’s experiences with the quest for the Holy Grrrrrrrail.

Another novella, THE GRIMOIRE OF THE LAMB, dealing with Atticus’s brouhaha with Bast and others, will most likely be ready in between TRAPPED and HUNTED.

STUFF I’M READING: 

This bit is kind of surreal. People are starting to ask me to read books before they’re published now and say something spiffy about them. My TBR list is full of books that haven’t come out yet. Still, you’d probably like a heads-up on the cool shit coming your way, right?  Let me, my friends, be the first to build some buzz—you’re going to want to read these:
1) YEAR ZERO by Rob Reid
2) STORMDANCER by Jay Kristoff
3) THE DARWIN ELEVATOR by Jason Hough

Sorry about all the book-related stuff. I’ll get something silly up here soonish. :)

Many cheers,
Kevin

I want to thank all who voted for Atticus in the Suvudu Cage Match. You know and I know that he would have won had it truly been ON. But according to Rolling Stone, Paolini’s Inheritance Cycle has sold more than 33 million copies worldwide, and my Iron Druid Chronicles…hasn’t. His readers simply outnumber mine by a magnitude that makes my brain hurt, and they don’t know what Atticus can do. The fact that Atticus kept it even marginally close is testament to your spiffiness!

Since my readers are awesome and drink beer and laugh at sausage jokes, I want to do something to reward you: below is a wee excerpt from TRICKED, the last part of Chapter 2. There’s nothing spoilery: It’s just Oberon’s bath, and you can imagine the shenanigans he’ll get into with a new role model like this one…

If you’d rather wait for the book, I totally understand! Read no more! But in case you’d like to enjoy it now, please enjoy it now, and thanks again for your support!

Much love & my flagon raised to you,
Kevin

(P.S. The little carat marks that Oberon usually has around his speech may or may not show up…the blog is funny about that stuff. I think you’ll figure it out, though.) :)

Leaving the binoculars behind, I bound my shape to an owl and flew south to my hotel. It’s not pleasant flying in rain like that, but I had to get out of there. Once safely in my room, I greeted my wolfhound, Oberon, who’d been watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 on TV. Then I took a cold shower and tried to think about teddy bears and baseball and those little bouncy air castles you can rent for kids’ birthdays—anything but the Morrigan.

Since it’s always better to clog up someone else’s drain with dog hair than your own, I thought it would be a good time to give Oberon a bath as well. He hadn’t had one for a while and I didn’t know when we’d have an opportunity like this again.

“Hey, Oberon,” I called, filling up the tub for him, “it’s time for your bath!”

<It is?> He sounded doubtful. <Do you have a decent story?> Oberon wouldn’t sit still for baths unless I told him a story—a real story about historical figures. He never settled for faery tales.

“I’m going to tell you the true story of a man named Francis Bacon.”

<BACON?> He came running so fast that he couldn’t negotiate the sharp turn into the bathroom very well, and he slammed into the door awkwardly and then splashed into the tub, soaking me after I’d just finished drying off.

<Oh, this is going to be great! I can tell I’m going to like this man already. He had to have been a genius with a name like that. Was he a genius?>

“Yes, he was.”

<I knew it! I have an instinct for that kind of thing. But I hope this story doesn’t end with him chopped into bits and sprinkled on a salad. That would be tragic, and a story about bacon should be uplifting.>

“Well, Francis Bacon was quite inspirational to many people,” I said, pouring water on Oberon’s back. “He’s the father of modern empiricism, or the scientific method. Before he came along, people conducted all their arguments through a series of logical fallacies or simply shouting louder than the other guy, or if they did use facts, they only selected ones that reinforced their prejudices and advanced their agenda.”

<Don’t people still do that?>

“More than ever. But Bacon showed us a way to shed preconceived notions and conduct experiments in such a way that the results were verifiable and repeatable. It gave people a way to construct truths free of political and religious dogma.”

<Bacon is the Way and the Truth. Got it.>

As I shampooed Oberon’s coat, I explained how to craft hypotheses and test them empirically using a control. And then I stressed safety while I rinsed him off.

“It’s best not to experiment on yourself. Bacon practically froze himself to death in one of his experiments and died of pneumonia.”

<Right! Bacon must be heated. Knew that already, but thanks for the reminder.>

I love my hound.

Last year when I was between contracts, I had some time on my hands and lots of creative energy. One day I had a major geekout and designed most of a card game along with my buddy Alan. We based it off the first two books only. Then I forgot about it for ten freakin’ months because I got a new contract and had a book to write.

While rummaging around in my files recently, I ran across the game and decided to finish designing it so that my time from ten months ago wouldn’t be wasted.  Now you can download it for free, mess around, and see if it’s any fun. If you’re so inclined, you can send me some feedback, help me tighten it up, and if people dig it, then maybe we can get some real cards printed up with some original art. (Right now the art is extremely temporary.)

The cards are on five PDF files; the files are standard 81/2 x 11″ paper. You’ll need to print only one copy of sheet #1, but most likely you’ll need 4 copies each of sheets 2-5. There’s also a set of instructions as a Word file. You’ll probably need some dice handy, and some scissors to cut out your makeshift cards. If you wanted to get all fancy, you could print them out on cardstock.

PLAYTESTING & FEEDBACK

If you’d like to just play, go ahead! Please do! If you’d like to contribute a bit to improving the game and leave me some feedback, there’s a spiffy way to do it. Follow this link to The Ranting Dragon forums, read what you see there, and join the site. If you’ve never been to The Ranting Dragon, it’s seriously one of the best SF/F review sites out there. Worth joining and jabbering along with people. Once you’re signed up there, you can leave me your suggestions, and that’s where I’ll post updates on new versions, etc.

THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND

I’m not a professional game designer. I like beer and dogs and writing stories, so if I’ve made some really stupid mistakes, you can blame it on one of those. Also, Alan and I tried really hard to keep this first version confined to the creatures, gods, and events of HOUNDED and HEXED. If there is sufficient interest, we’ll expand the game with cards from HAMMERED, but for now, try to keep suggestions for new cards and mechanics to things that happened in the first two books. The files are below! I really do hope you have a great time with them!

GAME FILES

IDC Card Sheet 1
IDC card sheet 4
IDC Cards Sheet 5
IDC card game rules