All posts by Kevin Hearne

Two movies

Quick post: Saw two movies recently on the opposite ends of entertainment. One was Kick-Ass. Don’t take any kids. Just take your inner comic book nerd and enjoy.

One of the things I completely geeked out about is that I buy my comics at Atomic Comics…and it’s in the movie.

The other movie was Oceans, a documentary released today, Earth Day. Stunning. Beautiful. Jaw dropped when I saw the blanket octopus and the mantis shrimp.  Check ’em out:

Blanket Octopus
Mantis Shrimp

Oh, and yeah, the guy swimming along the Great White in peace was a trip. Amazing. Makes me wonder what else we’re missing down there. Two thumbs up for both movies.

Copy Editing Day

Today I am supposed to receive the copy-edited manuscript for my second book, Hexed. I’m incredibly excited about this—so much so that I might indulge in excessive superfluous exclamation points!!!!!!

You might wonder why.

Why would any sane person want to see their written work all marked up by a stranger 3,000 miles away?

Because there will be a title page with my name on it that the publisher made up all special just for me. There will also be an ISBN number assigned specifically to my book. It’s all proof that my dream of getting published will be real someday…in just a wee bit over a year from now. *tiny groan*

April 26, 2011…*another tiny groan.* It’s a long time to wait. Nineteen months and one day after the deal was struck, Hounded will finally hit the shelves. That is a bit longer than most deals, but since it’s going to be followed in quick succession by Hexed in May and Hammered in June, the extra time is built in there for me to actually write two books.

It will be bearable, of course, because the day will eventually come. I get to wake up every day and know I’m twenty-four hours closer to my goal. Eventually I’ll get to see my covers and do a little dance. I’ll get to hear the reader of the audio version attempt to do all the accents in the books (Irish, Polish, Tamil, Russian, Finnish, Mandarin, Icelandic, and German) and grin until my face hurts. And maybe, in the interim, I’ll get some good news from overseas, or some news about dramatic rights. It could happen anytime, and that makes waiting more fun.

As far as progress goes, I’ve taken a step backward, but I think it’s more of a course correction. I’ve been writing about these vampires recently and not digging it at all. I wrote about four thousand words, had this huge imbroglio set at University of Phoenix Stadium, and it didn’t feel right. So I highlighted the lot of it and pressed Delete. It wasn’t really a subplot; it was more of a derailment, a complete tangent, and it’s better that I wait on the vampires until I can develop them properly in their own story. Hammered isn’t about vampires. It’s about Ratatosk and Yggdrasil, Thor and Odin, and How to Tempt a Frost Giant.

O frabjous day! There shall be many words to cuddle, plus hot chocolate with marshmallows! I raise my mug to you, and hope you have some lovely words to cuddle up with too.

O, Iceland!

I expect there are many people staggeringly inconvenienced by Iceland right now. People who have never looked at a globe are now scowling at it, shaking their fingers scoldingly at the volcanically active island and complaining about their cancelled flights. I don’t know why they’re so surprised. I mean, you could just take a look at this map of Iceland from 1590 and know that someday it was going to throw out some serious shit:

Iceland: This map tried to warn us!
Look at those mutant critters swimming around everywhere! Why, some of them have the characteristics of land creatures! Some of them have antennae! Some of them have even learned how to walk on water! (I especially like the hippocampus near the bottom left.) 
In one of those minor cosmic coincidences that crunchy hippie people in the 90s might have called “very Celestine,” I’ve been writing about Iceland recently in the third novel in my series, Hammered. Two of the characters are from there, and a third has an unfortunate meeting with Thor while staying near the modern-day town of Eskifjordur. While doing some basic background research yesterday, I’d just finished reading about how volatile and unstable the geology was when the news blared out at me that Eyjafjallajokull had announced its presence with authority. This is how Eyjafjallajokull says hello:
Howdy, world! I dare you to say my name!
After the dust settles, I’m going to have to visit. It’s such a fascinating hunk of rock and not entirely covered in ice at all. The geothermal vents all over the place tend to heat things up, and ocean currents keep it fairly temperate even though it’s above the Arctic circle. Since my fictional characters owe so much to their land, I owe it to them to see the nonfictional reality of it. I’m looking forward to the trip! You know…someday.

The 3:2 Interview with Peter V. Brett

Welcome to the first 3:2 Interview, where I ask three serious questions and two rather silly ones of an author you might not know yet but will certainly love soon.
Today’s interview is with Peter V. Brett (call him “Peat”), author of The Warded Man and its sequel, The Desert Spear, which is available right now. Peat is one of several authors, along with Patrick Rothfuss, R. Scott Bakker and Joe Abercrombie, who are breathing new life into the epic fantasy genre.

Writer’s Grove: When you set out to write your series, were there specific fantasy tropes you were consciously trying to avoid, or perhaps tweak in a new way?
Peat: I dunno, maybe unconsciously. I’ve read about a billion fantasy novels (actual number closer to 600), and I think I’ve built a good sense of what works in a story and what doesn’t, but it wasn’t like I had compiled a list of tropes to work with. I just set out trying to tell a good story.
   Oh, wait. That’s a lie. I deliberately decided to ban all swords from the series. I love a good swordfight as much as the next guy, but I felt like I’d written a thousand of them in my life, and wanted a new challenge. In the story, humanity has been reduced to a tiny fraction of its former size, and warfare between men is unheard of. Demons are so powerful that they will likely kill you if they get within striking range, so the best option is a weapon that can keep them at a distance, like a spear. Swords are impractical and obsolete.
WG: If we go to a fantastic pub with everything on tap, what do you order to drink with your greasy fried food and will you pick up the check?
P: Guinness or Killian’s Irish Red, depending on my mood. Sometimes a Jack and coke. Bacon cheeseburgers and fries are on me.
WG: The Krasian culture of The Desert Spear is the most developed culture based on the Middle East I’ve seen since Frank Herbert’s Dune—and that was science fiction. What sort of background in Middle Eastern cultures did you have prior to writing the book, and how much research did you have to do to write about this culture convincingly?
P: First off, I will confess to never having read Dune. Sacrilege, I know. I saw the movie in college, but I barely remember it.
   Regarding the Krasians, I wouldn’t say they are based on the Middle East. Flavored would perhaps be a better word. There is as much Ancient Sparta and Medieval Japan to their culture as Middle Eastern, and a whole lot of stuff I just plain made up. The result is a very unique people with a rich history and unique worldview that is all their own. They’re not meant to be a commentary on any real world culture.
   As for research… meh. I read a lot.
WG: Gandalf and Chuck Norris meet at a neutral location (say, for example, Dairy Queen) and fight to the death. Who wins and how?
P: Gandalf says some cryptic things that confuse Chuck and make him question his life’s path. He is soon weeping like a little girl into Gandalf’s white robes and begging forgiveness. Offers to beat himself up as penance. Gandalf buys him some ice cream.
   We are talking Gandalf the White, right? Gandalf the Grey would just fry his ass with a lightning bolt. 
WG: When can we expect to see book three (and is there a title yet)?
P: The series will go to five books. The title of book three is The Daylight War, and it is coming along really well, I think. I have it plotted down to minute detail, and am working on the prose. I still have a LOT of work ahead of me, so I am reluctant to make promises about when it will be available. 2012…ish?
WG: Thanks Peat!
P: Thanks for having me!

Still Life with Fantasy and Fruit #2

Behold my new masterpiece:

Still Life with Fantasy and Fruit #2
“You put the lime with the coconut and read it all up.” That’s how the song goes, right?
Unlike my first Still Life, I didn’t get these books for free. I paid U.S. dollars for them because these two particular authors aren’t with my publisher. That being said, they’re also quite worth it, because they’re the leading writers in the urban fantasy genre and their books are always entertaining. 
Let’s pause a moment to judge these books by their covers. On the one hand you have a Brooding Trench Coat Man holding a staff like he’s claiming this land in the name of Some Majesty, May He/She Reign Forever.  On the other you have an Impressively Inked Woman holding a book, giving you this look over her shoulder that suggests if you ask her nicely, she might read it to you. Or…you can read about her reading that book to someone else in the book. There are layers of books here. I’m sold! Briggs wins, hands down!
Here’s what I like about the photo: It looks like Brooding Trench Coat Man is glaring at the reflected, mirror-imaged name of Patricia Briggs invading the territory he has claimed with his phallic symbol.
If you’re not familiar with either of these authors, I highly recommend filling this awful void in your life. You’re truly missing out on some great characters. You can start with Jim Butcher’s Storm Front here and Patricia Briggs’ Moon Called here.

I’ll get reviews of these up when I’m finished with them. I’m chugging through Silver Borne right now. The Impressively Inked Woman hasn’t read that book to me yet, but there’s still a hundred pages to go, so there’s hope.

Vamping

There are several schools of vampires out there, some more appealing than others, and I’ve been working on the kind o’ vamps I want in my novels. There’s currently only one vampire in my world, but many more are coming along and my lone vampire is supposed to be different from the others. So the question I’m asking myself is, what are the others like? This isn’t an exhaustive list by any means, but feel free to add to it in the comments.

1. Old School: They’re predators, we’re food. That’s it. Well, maybe not. Sometimes, there are bat wings.
2. Anne Ricers: Bored dandies who seem mysterious because they still dress like courtiers from the time of Louis the XIV instead of in jeans and t-shirts.
3. Bikers n’ Goths: Leather and chains and bad-boy image.
4. Tootsie Rolls: Hard outer shell but a soft, chewy emotional center ready for that special human girl to nourish and control. Lots of paranormal romances have these.
5. Shiny vegetarian vampires who think self-absorbed teenagers are incredibly attractive.
6. Cold businessmen with an eye for long-term investments.

I’ve eliminated #4 and #5 from consideration. Working on lengthening the list of options or hybridizing it…

32K on Hammered.

Still Life with Fantasy and Fruit

My editor is THE COOLEST editor ever! Behold Exhibit A:

Still Life with Fantasy and Fruit #1

All of this was sent to me by my editor, except for the fruit. Here’s what you’re looking at, left to right, front row: Robert Redick’s The Red Wolf Conspiracy; a Braeburn apple; Daryl Gregory’s Pandemonium; another apple; Jaida Jones and Danielle Bennett’s Have Mercy; and then moving to the back row, an Advanced Reader Edition of Peter V. Brett’s The Warded Man; a NEW! AWESOME! copy of Mr. Brett’s latest novel, The Desert Spear, two weeks before it’s available in stores (Whoops! I just drooled on the keyboard in nerd ecstasy!); bananas, because this shit is bananas; Richard K. Morgan’s The Steel Remains; and a final apple.

And now we pause for a celebratory squee. Squeeeee!!!

I had no idea how cool it would be to get free books until I got them. I mean, when I was a younger nerd with more hair, I’d get “free” books from those book clubs, but we all know they weren’t really free because you had that commitment hanging over you to buy only six more books in the next year at regular club price and you had to return that card on time or they’d send you a crappy book of the month instead of something you wanted. These books are free. I don’t have to buy anything or “just pay shipping and handling.” And yes, I’m bragging about it. I’m having a nice brag right now, because this is the coolest perk I never expected for getting published. I didn’t expect any perks, to be honest; getting published is satisfactorily perky all by itself. It doesn’t need perks. But they are there, and this is one of them.

In coming days, weeks, (months?) I’ll be reviewing these. I’m reading The Warded Man first because I’ve heard nothing but stellar things about it and I’m fond of reading stellar books. But after that and The Desert Spear, I’m digging into Richard Morgan’s book. His Altered Carbon was awesome stuff and so were the sequels, so I can’t wait to see what he’s done here. Oh, and you know what? I almost bought that book over the weekend! I picked it up, all excited, and then I checked the publisher on the spine and went “WHOA!” kind of like that loud man in the Staples commercials but several decibels quieter. Richard Morgan’s with Del Rey, too! I had no idea. I put the book down—very reluctantly—because I thought maybe, just maybe, Tricia would surprise me with it. And she DID! So that is Exhibit B. The books & authors in the front row are unknown to me, but I’m looking forward to this particular introduction and I’ll share the experience when I get to them.

I really need to write an effusive missive o’ thanks to my editor now.

School’s keepin’ me busy and it’s tough to find the headspace to write, but I’m at 30K on Hammered now and deep in research on the Kabbalah for my Kabbalist warriors. Happy Passover to all my Jewish friends.

Three Writing Myths Busted

I like encouraging folks to write. It gives me warm fuzzies. I think most everyone has a story to tell, and if they want to work at it hard enough and long enough to tell it very, very well, then they should be able to find an audience for that story and someone willing to pay them for it.

But it can be discouraging, I know, to work for so long on a project with no certainty of it ever sitting on a bookshelf with its own cute little ISBN barcode.

Luckily, there’s some encouragement to be had. Fantasy author Jim Hines recently conducted a survey of 246 published sci-fi/fantasy authors about how they sold their first books, and the full results of that survey are now posted on his blog. Here’s the link to his awesome work, please check it out.

Though it’s obviously skewed toward sci-fi/fantasy authors, it contains information that should be useful to everyone, and busts a few pervasive myths. I’ll highlight a couple of them here and throw in my personal, anecdotal info.

Busted Myth #1: You have to sell short fiction first. 
Out of 246 authors, 116 sold a book without ever selling a short story. That includes me. (I participated in Jim’s survey.)

Busted Myth #2: Traditional publishing is dead, self-publishing is the way to go.
Not so much. There are huge, isolated success stories—Christopher Paolini is the one that comes to mind—but the key word here is isolated. Those kinds of success stories are anomalies. Out of the 246 surveyed authors, only one self-published first before getting picked up by a major publisher.

Busted Myth #3: You have to know someone in the business to get published.
140 of the authors (over half) had no contacts at either their agency or their publisher before making their first book sale. I’m one of those. I know four whole people in the industry now, but I still haven’t met them in person: I know my agent and a colleague of his, and I know my editor and assistant editor at Del Rey. But I “met” my agent through a query letter. And I didn’t “speak” to my editor until my agent made the deal. So the proof is there and it’s solid: you can get into this business based solely on the power of your written words.

There are many more nuggets of golden info to be found in the survey—I highly recommend it—but here are the last couple of stats I’d like to point out: It seems most of the authors sold their first books in their mid to late 30’s. (I was 38 at the time of the sale.) And while 58 authors sold the first book they ever wrote, many wrote 2-4 books before they got their first sale. I wrote two other books before I wrote Hounded and learned so much in the process. I also learned quite a bit from the process of writing Hounded; I wrote the next book in the series more quickly and it didn’t require as much editing.

Hopefully this info will encourage some of you on your journey to getting published!

Killer Bug!

Things I normally don’t blog about: bugs.

But I just recently realized that I’m sharing the planet with this particular bug and I think it’s cool. It’s called a wheel bug, and it’s the largest of the assassin beetles. Sort of like a ninja insect.

See that little tubelike doodad underneath its conehead with the googly black eyes? That thing will whip and stab another insect and paralyze it almost instantly, and then it’ll start pumping saliva and enzymes into the critter and liquefy its insides before sucking it all up like a slurpee. They kill lots of garden pests so they’re actually good to have around, but they’re kind of scary.

For humans their bites are painful and don’t heal very quickly; they’ll probably leave a scar. But they don’t attack unless provoked, and they move pretty slowly unless you’re right in their face.

These things usually go for caterpillars and such, but they can even take out bees with no trouble and yes, even praying mantises! Check out this YouTube video here; the mantis puts up a fight but once that beak is in there, it’s nothing more than a mantis milkshake to the wheel bug.

Sweet dreams!

Enormity of a novel vs. wee little goals

If someone says unto thee, “I must have your completed novel in five months. Begin,” what you would begin is not a novel at all, but an epic freakout over the impossibility of the demand. The number of words involved—75,000-120,000, depending on your book—boggles the mind and shuts down the engine of the little train who could.

So don’t think about that. All that will get you is a plate of roasted fail drizzled in a savory fail sauce and served with a side of fail.

Instead, think about all those people in November who write novels in a month. And think about writing the equivalent of a three to five-page paper each day until you’re finished, the kind your English teacher made you write. About a thousand words per day. You can do that. It’ll take you a couple of hours, maybe three. Plus you can hold down a day job. You might not get to watch TV, but what you’re writing is better than anything on TV anyway, right? Maybe on a weekend you could write more than a thousand. If you were super diligent about that, you’d have a 90,000-word novel in three months.

But you’re not going to be super diligent, because you have a life. Or if you don’t, I’m sure you’re trying to get one. That’s okay, I highly recommend having a life. You can take off a day or two here and there and still make your deadline in five months. And you know what? The year’s not even half over! You can write another novel before the year is out! You can even take two months off for a backpacking trip across Europe and then come home and write a novel about it!

The first novel of my series, Hounded, took me over a year because I didn’t have a deadline and I was attempting to have a life. I left it alone for weeks, even months at a time because there wasn’t any urgency. After I got a contract, I wrote much more quickly. :) I wrote the second book in five months. Now I’m already a third of the way through writing the third book and I have until July to finish it. The practice helps, and the deadline helps a lot.

So give yourself a deadline and start practicing. If you’d like to see how long many Sci-fi/Fantasy authors worked at getting published before selling their first book, check out this handy-dandy info here courtesy of fantasy author Jim Hines, who surveyed 246 SF/F authors and crunched the numbers. You’ll see that some of them worked a long, long time. Decades. Some of them, on the other hand, sold books after a just a few years. None of them ever gave up. My data is in that survey; I wrote for 19 years before I sold my first book. If you’re an aspiring writer, I hope you’ll be one of those who sells theirs quickly—but if the time of “quickness” has already passed for you, I hope you’ll keep working anyway—the practice helps.