Writer's Grove

This is continuing a series of posts I’ve been writing for newbie authors in hopes that my experiences leading up to my debut might help some other writers who are just now dipping their toesies into publishing’s choppy waters.  Shawntelle Madison, I’m looking at you—here’s a heads up!

Start your list of guest blog ideas now. Someday, you will need it.

I’m about two months out from Hounded hittin’ the shelves, and publicity is starting to ramp up for my release. I’m not sure yet if this is a gentle slope or a steep incline since I have no basis for comparison, but in the past couple of weeks I’ve said “HECK YES!” to three guest blog requests and five interview requests. (And keep in mind that I have no idea how they found me. It’s a mystery; they’re simply contacting me and I’m extremely happy about it.) I’m sure that this is nothing compared to the kind of interest established authors get prior to their releases, but for me it’s eight more requests than I’ve ever had in my life. Already I can tell I’m going to like doing the interviews a bit more, and here’s why: I ain’t comfy with a guest blog. I didn’t realize that until I sat down tonight to try to write them, and maybe it’s just me and Dr. Nicole Peeler (she admitted to me that she doesn’t dig ’em either), but my completely undocumented, unsupported opinion is that it’s a common malaise among authors.

Here’s my attempt to be introspective about it: I’m comfy here. This is mah space, mah house, and when I go to somebody else’s place as a guest, I wonder (metaphorically speaking) if my fly is open or if there’s a stain on my shirt. Here I can write whatever I want (DANGLING BADGER BALLS! <–See?), but when I’m on someone else’s site I almost feel like I’m supposed to write an essay in MLA format and provide a Works Cited page. And there’s also this weird subtext, where I know I’m trying to pimp myself and the readers know I’m trying to pimp myself, but we’re all pretending that I’m just writing some interesting goodies on a stranger’s blog because I’m cool like that. Except I’m not cool or an expert or anything; I’m making this up as I go. And topics! Gah! I have a hard enough time coming up with topics for my own blog, much less fresh material for someone else. And you have to come up with something fresh, see, because all these guest blogs will start popping up around the same time, and if people discover you’re recycling stuff they’re going to feel you cheated somehow. Add to that the stress of not really knowing the audience you’re addressing—who are those people in Canada?—and it’s enough to give me a case of the shivering fantods. (Did you know that today is Gratuitous Mark Twain Allusion Day?)

Interviews, on the other hand, are a blast. I’m at ease because the blogger is asking me stuff they think their followers would like to know. It’s more like a conversation than an essay, and I don’t get the feeling I’m supposed to be the expert, nor do I feel like a salesman.

But I completely understand why bloggers would prefer a guest post. It’s hard to come up with entertaining material, period. And thinking up interview questions that haven’t been asked a gazillion times before? That’s hard too. I empathize, sympathize, and Simonize. Blogging well is much harder than it looks.

Not sure how many more requests I’m going to get (it’s a mystery), but I’ll do my best to accommodate everyone who manages to hear about me. You only debut once, right? And it’s all fun & adventurey—even the fact that I don’t know what I’m going to write about next is an adventure. :) When all of these guest posts and interviews finally show up out there, I’ll let you know.

Before I go, here’s a next-to-last call for pre-orders on Hounded: I’ll send you a signed, personalized bookplate if you send me an email with your address by February 15 saying you pre-ordered somewhere. This is good for overseas folks, too! Here’s a page with a handy list of retailers to order from.

Also before I go, The League of Reluctant Adults has finally gotten its poo together. (Heh! I say that like I’ve been with them for ages, but it’s only been a few months, and I’m still their only unpublished member.) What that means is that EVERY HONKIN’ DAY you’ll get something saucy served up by one of the Reluctant Adults. We’re on a schedule and everything. I’ll be posting on the 7th of every month, and like dogs, every Reluctant Adult will have his/her day. So if you haven’t bookmarked the site yet (or read anything by those authors), I gently suggest you should. :) Be warned: We are cheeky bitches.

Lastly, I’m officially predicting that the next big thing in fantasy is going to be CARNIEPUNK. But no pressure, Hillary Jacques. :) Peace unto you all~

So, I did an interview thingie last week where I had to differentiate my UF hero, Atticus O’Sullivan, from other UF heroes. The key to the question was the word heroes, not heroines. There are considerably fewer UF heroes on the shelves than there are UF heroines, and if you’re talking about UF heroes written by males, the list gets even smaller.

Aside from being the only Druid lead in UF, Atticus is quite different from other heroes—but I don’t want to re-answer the question right now, especially since the interview hasn’t been published yet. Instead, I’d like to talk about what happened to my brain. Under the intense pressure of the question (GAH! 5 jillion foot-pounds o’ PRESSURE!) I could only think of three male protagonists written by males. I knew there were more—really good ones too!—but only three came to mind. Perhaps that’s my mental max. Here are the ones I didn’t think of at the time but SHOULD have: Harry Connolly’s Ray Lilly, Mike Carey’s Felix Castor, and Jon Levitt’s Mason. (And I know there are more out there but I haven’t read them yet.) The ones I did list were Jim Butcher’s Harry Dresden, Ben Aaronovitch’s Peter Grant, and Anton Strout’s Simon Canderous. Everybody’s heard of the first guy. I’d just gotten finished reading Midnight Riot by Aaronovitch, so it’s no wonder I thought of him (good book!). But as I was twitching out my last muscle spasms from the adrenaline high born of INTENSE PRESSURE, I got to thinking how Simon Canderous stuck in my head. I found Dead to Me, the first book in his series while browsing in the bookstore (“Oh, cool!” I said. “There’s actually another dude hanging out here!”) and since I was all caught up on my Butcher and looking for something different, I bought it. Turned out to be quite entertaining—Strout is fond of puns, which makes me fond of him, and Simon Canderous has a really interesting magical power (Psychometry!) with some complicating side effects in his personal life. I found myself smiling as I read it and occasionally laughing out loud. I love it when I run across good reads like that. But why did I have to find this guy by accident?

A bit later on, I got myself invited into the august body of authors known as The League of Reluctant Adults and discovered that Anton Strout was a founding member. This confirmed my strong suspicion that he is cooler than me (but I suspect that of nearly everyone). Indisputably, though, he has a gigantic pair of titanium balls because he is the Sworn Mortal Enemy of Patrick Rothfuss. I mean, if you have THAT on your resume, there’s simply no way people can doubt the capaciousness of your sack. He even survived a concerted effort by Rothfuss to have him assassinated through the powerful medium of fortune cookie suggestion! Behold:

I have since traded some amusing emails with Anton and read more of his books—I just got finished with my sneak peek of his latest, Dead Waters (out February 22).

He continues to entertain and poke fun at urban fantasy tropes, and Simon Canderous deserves to be among the top male protagonists in urban fantasy. He is among the top in my mind, clearly. If you’ve never tried him out, there are four Simon Canderous novels to choose from: Dead to Me, Deader Still, Dead Matter, and the above Dead Waters. Time to go get the male!

If you’d recommend any other male protagonists in UF, please do in the comments! Might as well swell the TBR pile!

1. I have a new page called Events and Appearances! There are TWO (2) whole things on it. Hopefully I’ll add more stuff once people discover my existence!

2. My publisher (Del Rey) is giving away 25 copies of HOUNDED on Goodreads.com. You click “Enter to Win” and that’s it! Um, at least, that’s it if you’re a member of Goodreads. And if you’re not…why not? It’s cool! Rating books you liked/didn’t like is a good time, and you can bring justice to the universe by giving everything Charles Dickens wrote ONE STAR like I did, then sending the review to your English teacher with a mature message like “SO THERE! MUAH-HA-HA-HA!”

3. I’m very pleased to be participating in this massive blog shindig called Paranormal Spring Break. You know it’s massive because they have a badge thingie with attractive winged silhouettes and a mushroom on it, and minor shindigs just don’t have those:

I’m going to be posting there on a famous Irish holiday in March. Fairly certain they will be having a giveaway of my book to go with it, but they will ALSO have many more giveaways of other authors’ books, most likely stuff you’d really enjoy if you dig urban fantasy, so you owe it to yourself to visit there every honkin’ day in March. Bookmark it, I say!

4. I have just discovered maple & brown sugar frosted mini wheats. That clinches it: Somewhere in Battle Creek, Michigan, there is a cereal killer who wants me dead.

I have been graced with my first pro review of Hounded! It’s from John Ottinger, who gives it five stars (squee!). “A must read for fans of Celtic and urban fantasy. Hilarious and fun!” He says he’ll have a full review up on his blog in March—which I can’t wait to see—but what he wrote in January sure did make my day. Very grateful!

In pursuit of our own happiness, a modest proposal: Let the pizza delivery guys deliver beer. The happiness this will bring to me and all like-minded Americans should be one of those famously self-evident truths. But there’s an economic reason to do it, too—there might be a state budget crisis or two we can solve here! Beer delivery equals more tax revenue, guaranteed, without raising taxes. How? Well, pizza joints jack up the price of beverages anyway. If a six-pack costs them $7, they’ll charge $10-12 (or more) to deliver it. 9% of $12 is more than 9% of $7—boom, you just increased revenue without raising taxes. And people will pay it—yes, I will pay it! Because $2 a bottle is still cheaper than what I’d pay at the ballpark or in any bar, and the convenience is simply awesome. You can curtail abuse of this in the statute—food must be ordered, for example, or only one six-pack per customer. I don’t see a downside here—pizza companies will enjoy more profits; states will enjoy increased revenue; people who run out of beer in the middle of a game won’t be out driving to get more at halftime, and people who are drinking at home are obviously not out on the road after drinking at the sports bar. I’m not a legislator (thank goodness), but surely this can be crafted to work for everyone’s profit and public safety. Who will lead the way? I am fairly certain it won’t be my state…damn it.

Got some work done on my epic this weekend (see the progress bar on the right; it was at 5430 but I scrapped that and started over, so I wrote 7K), and I’ve finally come up with a name that I like, but I think I’ll keep it a secret for now…we’ll see if anyone wants to publish it before I trumpet its nimi (that’s Finnish for name—I keep coming up with excuses to use Google Translate).

My tree has been getting lots of hugs on behalf of people who have pre-ordered Hounded, and I’ve mailed off quite a few signed bookplates. If you’d like to get in on this deal (there’s one place in the UK selling the whole series for $5.99 each and FREE shipping to the US), then head on over to the HOUNDED page, click on any red link you like, pre-order and send me an email! Part of this deal is that my dogs get hugged when you pre-order. It’s in the contract. Have you seen my dogs?

That’s Sophie on the left and Manley on the right (named after the British poet Gerard Manley Hopkins). They are regularly loved and petted, but they are delighted by the BONUS love they’re getting as a result of all these pre-orders. (I think I may have given them an extra snack or five as well in the fulsomeness of my joy.)

I have cats too. Their names are Huckleberry and Lucky (Lucky because we saved him from CERTAIN DEATH), but they are quite adamant on the point that they not be photographed. Or maybe it’s just that the dogs follow me around and thus they keep hiding from me. The cats will only be hugged by your special request, because it takes some effort to chase them down.

After hearing about it for years, I have finally given myself the gift that is The Big Bang Theory. Nerds are so awesome—but especially Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

Currently I’m hammering out details for a couple of appearances. One will be the launch party for Hounded at Changing Hands Bookstore in Tempe on April 19—the date is pretty solid since that’s my release day, but I’m still working on the times. I will also be at San Diego Comic Con in July—specific time and location to be determined. Soonish, I’ll have an extra page up on the site called Events & Appearances, and I’ll update that every time something concrete comes in.

I just saw Black Swan and oh my goodness. It’s not a movie to see with your parents, but if you’re a creative person and you have little creative neuroses (or big ones) it’s a powerful, moving film full of questions for artists of all kinds. Natalie Portman definitely deserves the Oscar for this one. And my flotsam is hereby purged…

Yesterday I DISCOVERED SEKRIT PUBLISHING STUFF, which is generally what happens when people explain things to me. They have to do that a lot because I’m still such a newb at the publishing biz. I was going to make this a “Stuff They Never Told Me About Publishing” post, except that in this case the publishers actually told me something on a red phone in the white room with black curtains: Pre-orders are kind of a big deal.So big, in fact, that they lead one to fundamental questions in the Bardic vein—behold:

To pre- or not to pre-order, I question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the store to purchase
A mass market paperback, or to click mice
And wait for the mailman to deliver
A fine urban fantasy: to click, to wait
Three months: and by a wait to say we will
Molest the postman, and snatch the paperback
From out his huge sack? ‘Tis a pillaging
Devoutly to be wished. To wait, to read—
To read, perchance to snack; Aye, there’s the chips.
But in that precious book, what name is there,
What author hath scrawled his name if it
Be not Kevin’s? There’s the catch to
Waiting to purchase it in the store.
For who would bear the sneers and japes of teens,
The retailer’s sale, the cheesy rewards card,
The pangs of traffic jams, the checkout line,
The insolence of book snobs, and the chance
That they might not even have it in stock,
When he might get a balls-rad bookplate
For pre-ordering?*

Yes, that’s how big a deal pre-ordering is. It makes you write in blank verse…badly. And the Supa Sekrit I learned is that a large number of pre-orders does all sorts of sparkly things for an author and helps ensure the success of a book. I’m still a bit unsure on the mechanics of why this is so, but here’s what my non-business brain has been able to absorb: A book with big pre-order numbers indicates to dudes who buy stuff for bookstores that a certain title has “buzz” or “cachet” or “more legs than a bucket o’ chicken.” They all want a slice o’ the financial pie that leggy title represents, so they will order more copies of that title than a book without any legs. More copies of a book on the shelves means that Random Literate People are more likely to spot it as they browse, and if they spot it, they’re one hundred percent more likely to buy it than if they never see it because there’s only one lonely copy there cloaked in shadow near the floor. Makes sense, kind of.

The problems this system represents for a debut author are manifold. First, I have to pimp myself shamelessly, but I’m only capable of doing it shamefully, so that’s a huge therapy bill right there. Second, people who like to browse bookstores and get a little high on all the ink and glue are not going to want to pre-order. (And who can blame them?) Third, it’s tough to convince people who aren’t familiar with my work to commit to buying a copy.

Nevertheless, I’m going to click that mouse, sniff that glue, and pay that therapy bill. Are you ready? Here’s my shameful self-pimpage: If you pre-order HOUNDED by February 15 and let me know about it, I’ll send you a HOUNDED bookplate that’s not only signed but personalized as you wish. No proof needed—I’ll take your golden word. But what I will need is an email sent to kevin@kevinhearne.com that says you pre-ordered, your snail mail address, and what you’d like me to write on your bookplate(s). <—Whoa. Did you catch that optional plural? Yes, it’s true! Pre-order more books as gifts (because what says “I love you!” better than a book about an ancient Druid living in Arizona?), and I’ll send you a signed, personalized bookplate for every one! Plus I will drink a beer, which I would have done anyway, but this time I’ll do it in your honor. Here’s what the bookplates look like—sticky on one side and not on the other:

They will fit on the inside front cover, title page, wherever, and you’ll get them before the book arrives at your house! So, to sum up: Pre-order HOUNDED wherever you like before February 15 and then send me an email with your address and what you’d like me to write on your bookplate(s). I will personalize ’em for you, send ’em before the book gets there in April, and drink a beer in thy sainted name. Thank you, sincerely.

*May the literary gods have mercy on my soul for doing this to Shakespeare: Amen.

I have some good news and some good news!

First, congrats to Devon for winning an ARC of Bloodshot and to Nverted for winning an ARC of The Fallen Blade! Email me your addresses [kevin @ kevinhearne.com] and I’ll slap ’em in the mail for ya. Thanks to all who entered. :)

Second, it looks like those who purchase HOUNDED as an e-book will be getting a bonus; wheels are turning in publication land to bundle a free short story with it called “Kaibab Unbound,” a little adventure that takes place two weeks before the events of the novel. From what I understand, this will be a US/Canada-only deal. And since I’ve had some questions, my understanding is that the series will be available on Kindle, Kobo, Nook, and darn near everywhere except the iTunes book store. People who have the iPad can still read my stuff if they have the Kindle app, etc.

Third, I’ve been having a good time this weekend retooling my epic. Hopefully progress will continue in this vein and I’ll be able to settle on a title I like soon—then I can share. :)

Art thou an aspiring writer? Then my first advice to you is not to use the “art thou” sentence construction. My second piece of advice is to enter the Suvudu Writing Contest, because it’s honestly the only kind o’ writing contest worth entering. The downside is that it’s only open to US writers, but it’s entirely made of win otherwise. The grand prize gets a professional edit from Betsy Mitchell, editor in chief of Del Rey, with the distinct possibility that they might make an offer for it. Since Del Rey/Spectra doesn’t usually accept unagented submissions, this is your one, fleeting chance to catch their eye with an unsolicited submission! And even if they don’t offer for your book, an edit from Betsy will help you whip your submission into the kind of shape publishers will offer on. You have until March 18 to enter, so start polishing that manuscript you have in your drawer!

Next up: I’d really like you to win a free copy of my debut, and my spiffy marketing dude, Joe, has set up a contest on Goodreads to give away 25 copies in February! Thing about that is, you have to be a member of Goodreads to win. He’s also going to give away copies on Facebook through the Del Rey Spectra page—but of course you need a Facebook account for that. I’ve decided to run a contest here so you can get yourself eligible for those contests there. I’m giving away an ARC of Cherie Priest’s Bloodshot and Jon Courtenay Grimwood’s The Fallen Blade. These are both slightly used—I’ve read ’em, loved ’em,  and I think you will too. So we have two separate prizes here.

You get entered once for “Liking” me on Facebook (there’s a convenient place to do so on my home page). You get entered again for either friending me on Goodreads or becoming a fan on Goodreads. Once you’ve done either or both, please comment below and let me know what you did so that I don’t count random “likes” as contest entries. And yeah, if you’ve already “liked” me before this, that will count, just let me know! Open to US only, sorry, and this will run through Sunday.

Two other announcements that have nothing to do with contests:

1.) The Iron Druid Chronicles will be published in the Czech Republic! Very grateful and excited, since part of book three is set there!

2.) I’m going to be at the San Diego Comic Con in July! Nerds of the world, unite! I’ll be doing a signing there at some point, and we’ll see what else comes up. Obviously I’ll have more details closer to the date, but all three books will be out then, so if you are down that way and you wind up liking Atticus, I’d love to see you there! I’m going to see about arranging something at a bookstore offsite too, so that you don’t have to attend the convention to see me. If I’m SOOPER DOOPER lucky, I’ll be able to arrange a joint signing with another author and we can power the store with nothing but the reflected glow of our combined celebrity! ;) <—Irony.

Best o’ luck! Bloodshot is really good, by the way…5 stars from me on Goodreads! :)

Like everyone else in the world who cares a whit for fantasy, I’m waiting for the release of The Wise Man’s Fear. And by waiting, I mean pestering my local bookstore employees with constant calls to see if they have it in yet so I can offer them a bribe to sell it to me early. But until then, I need somethin’ to keep me occupied. So here’s what I’m devouring until Rothfuss drops his bomb on March 1:

Truth Seeker by C.E. Murphy, Midnight Riot by Ben Aaronovitch, Game of Cages by Harry Connolly, Perdido Street Station by China Miéville, and Double Cross by Carolyn Crane. Plus: Arizona oranges, with occasional sprouts of bonus stem material.

Do you know which one of these books hasn’t been released yet? No fair asking Google! If you guessed Midnight Riot, then you are allowed to feel smug and I think you should reward yourself with the debauchery of your choice (in case you need an excuse for debauchery). The reason I have this book ahead of its release—indeed, the reason I have these books at all right now—is because my editors are simply cool like that.

“Wauggh!” I cried. “I have nothing to read!”

“Fear not, intrepid writer!” my editor replied. “There is balm in Gilead; I will send thee succor.”

Okay, I know, you can’t suspend your disbelief for that line, and it’s true she doesn’t really talk to me like that. But sometimes I kind of wish she would, because you can DO that with nerds and they will smile beatifically, like you just asked them to roll for initiative on attacking an undead hamburger with +2 pickles.

“Brave editor, what succor canst thou send to stave off the soul-destroying ravages of Kvothe Impatience Syndrome?”

“I will send you books enough for a +5 distraction and a +2 patience boost. And…A SHRUBBERY!”

I have read both Murphy and Connolly before and already know that I’m going to enjoy their books. Looking forward to Aaronovitch because he’s shiny and new, Crane because she’s in The League of Reluctant Adults with me and is completely swell, and Miéville because my assistant editor has a literary crush on him. So how are you spending the time until The Wise Man’s Fear?

Huge, gonzo thanks to everyone who entered my ARC contest! It was lovely to see such interest and I do hope you’ll keep on coming back and commenting—I love the back-and-forth. And there will be MORE giveaways soon; I’ve been reliably informed by my editor that Del Rey Spectra is going to be giving away a few of my ARC’s on their Facebook page. (Search for Del Rey Spectra on Facebook and like ’em—why not, you like books, right? I hope you win!) I was also told that there would be some giveaways on Goodreads and Library Thing; I’m on both of those sites, by the way, and you’re welcome to friend me there, etc.

So here’s how I chose the winner: I went to Random.org and used their sequence generator. I told it to randomize a sequence from 1-68 (since there were 68 comments) and whatever number came out on top would be the winner. If the winning number corresponded to one of my comments then I was going to do it again, but luckily that didn’t happen. Here’s the screen shot of the drawing, timestamped at the bottom, winning number at the top left:

So the winning comment is #16, and that belongs to Becky B! Congratulations, Becky! You have won an advance copy of HOUNDED! It’s been maltreated, but we’re going to look at that from the sunny side and say instead that it is now infused with a sense of adventure! Email me your address (kevin@kevinhearne.com) and whatever you’d like me to sign in the book, and I will send it to you via the fabulously slow Media Mail!

And in case you didn’t hear via Twitter or Facebook and you missed this, check out this post I did with my editor, Tricia Pasternak, on the making of the cover of HOUNDED.

Tomorrow I will post my next Still Life with Fantasy and Fruit…it’s a big one, number 10. :)

Last week I learned that an unscrupulous sort was selling an Advanced Reader Edition of my debut, HOUNDED, on eBay—and furthermore, I suspected that this particular copy was not actually read or enjoyed by anyone. For this, I wept. Holding firmly to the belief that all books should be loved (but especially my books, ahem!), I actually bought the book from said unscrupulous person—it’s on its way to me now—solely so I could give it away to someone who’d like to read it. Might that someone be you?

Leave a comment below about whatever you’d like (peanut butter! hummingbirds! steampunk couture!) and you’re entered to win it. By entering, I hope you sincerely wish to read it and won’t sell it again online! I will sign the book thusly:

Yea, though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of eBay, I will fear no bookshelf. I was personally rescued from a book pirate by my author, and now I am given unto you, __(your name here)__, to enjoy in advance of millions of people (mwah-ha-ha-ha!), to build a shrine around, bequeath unto your heirs, and so on! Put on some jammies and read me, damn it!

Or I’ll sign it however you’d like. I’m just being silly. :) Seriously, though, it will do my heart good to know that the book is free of its mercenary past and in the hands of someone who likes stories. If you’d like to read this SUPER! SPECIAL! SLIGHTLY ABUSED BUT STILL SIGNED! Advance Edition, say howdy to me in the comments by the end o’ Saturday, January 15. I’ll put the names in the good ol’ randomizer Sunday morning-ish, and announce the winner sometime that day.

The winners o’ my previous contest are Qwill for Zero History and Sarah M for Who Fears Death. Congratulations to you both! Send me an email (kevin@kevinhearne.com) with your address and I’ll pop ’em in the snail mail. Thanks also to everyone who entered that contest—hope you’ll enter this one too!

Whoa…news flash! While I was writing this, My Magic Agent™ sent me an email! I’ve just accepted an offer from Turkey for the series! How cool is that! Thank you, Turkey!

In other news, my miniature painting hobby has veered from dwarfs to these giant things that are advertised as satyrs but are really bipedal goats with three-fingered hands. I’m just about finished with one, and he’s going to be guarding a FLAGON of beer on my next Still Life blog. That is, if I can find a flagon. Flagons aren’t as ubiquitous as they used to be, but I really need a flagon now to feel a distant kinship with Conan the Barbarian. And I completely, utterly blame author Jaye Wells for creating that need. Demand a flagon at your local glassware outlet today! If enough of us demand it, someone will supply it. :)